Page 45 of Hearts on the Table
I hadn’t believed it until I’d seen her myself, ripping into a resident for failing to add a patient’s new medication in the chart. I’d barely grabbed her before he’d teared up. Now, she was clinging to the doors of the locker room, doing everything she could to stay as far away from me as possible. Something panged in my chest.
If I’d had any doubt about her avoiding me, it was staring me in the face now.
“You can stop looking at me like that.” I shuffled to my locker, entering the combination twice before it clicked open.
“What were you doing wandering the halls with Nate this afternoon?” She said it likeIhad been the one to fuck her best friend. The ultimate betrayal. I was so, so tired.
“It’s standard procedure to give candidates a tour of the facility.” I didn’t want to be around the guy any more than she did, but it was part of the job, and I’d sworn that I’d be impartial.
“You knew he was going to be here.”
“You knew he was applying for the position, Lainey. Did you want me to share the full interview schedule with you?”
“You should have told me he was coming in today.” She jabbed me in the shoulder with a pointed finger. For someone who couldn’t get away from me fast enough, she’d sure beat a path over here. That finger should be registered.
“I can’t share information about candidates’ interviews with other candidates.” I scrounged in my bag for a protein bar. Took a bite without bothering to see what flavor it was.
“You didn’t think to even give me a little warning?”Jab.
My palms dug into my eye sockets, easing some of the dryness. I should probably grab some more water on the way out. But before I went anywhere, I had to stem the flow ofLainey’s meltdown. Or at least direct it some place other than me. “I wanted to tell you.”
“Wanted?”Jab.“You wanted”—jab—“to tell”—jab—“me!” Jab.“I don’t believe you.”Jab.
Alright. Enough of that. I captured her hand. Thankfully, we were the only two people in the room. No one was around to see her outburstor how my fingers slid against her pulse to calm her down.
“Even if I wanted to, how could I? You’ve been avoiding me since Tuesday.” She tried to pull her hand away, but I held tight. “Send a homing pigeon? Maybe that’d be able to track you down.”
She pulled again, and I let her slide out of my grasp. We studied each other for a moment while I chomped another bite of my protein bar. I wanted to kiss away the angry wrinkle of her nose.
“I haven’t been avoiding you.”
I took another bite.
“I wasn’t! And even if I was, it’s not like you tried too hard to get in touch with me,” she hissed, checking to make sure the room was still clear.
“Something spooked you last week. I didn’t want to make it worse.”
I launched the empty wrapper into a trashcan a few feet away. She glowered, looking exactly how I felt. Angry and tired. And under all that, maybe a little vulnerable.
“Listen. I know you’ve had a shit day with the LVAD getting canceled, and seeing your ex walk around probably didn’t help things. But you can’t get mad at me for giving you space when you seemed like you needed it.”
She glanced at her feet, so I did, too. We both studied her neon green sneakers for several seconds. She’d added brightpurple laces sometime in the last week. They were achingly adorable. Colorful and bright and so very Lainey.
“We had to tell her she was going to die.” Her eyes flickered up, then back down again. “Me and Cooper. There’s no reason we couldn’t do the surgery.”
“I know.”
“It’s less of a risk than a full transplant. She doesn’t have enough time to wait for a donor heart.”
“I know.”
“Sam, she’s a thirty-six-year-old woman with three kids, and I just delivered her death sentence.”
“I know, Sweetheart.” My chest squeezed. Losing a patient was never easy. Telling them you were going to lose them was worse.
She swallowed, rocking onto her heels without making eye contact with me. “You’re right. I shouldn’t have yelled at you. I’m sorry.”
I checked the door before pulling her further into the row of lockers, out of sight, to wrap her in my arms. Something lightened from my shoulders when she collapsed against me, tucking her head under my chin like she was made to be there.
