Page 53 of Hearts on the Table
Even better, I didn’t think he remembered it. Or maybe he did. When he told me while I jacked him off on my stomach that I was beautiful covered in his come and he wanted me to know I was his, maybe that was just his standard fare. It was not mine. But I wanted it to be.
Honestly, I’d gotten the impression at the end there that he hadn’t been fully conscious ofwhathe was saying, which made it all feel kind of precious and untouchable. Sam’struefilterless thoughts revolved around how he wanted to come on my tits then go down on me for hours. His words, not mine.
It was the caveman stuff that I generally avoided like the plague, but for some reason, those words spilling out of the most quiet, thoughtful person I knew made me want more. Later, during my interview, it had been a miracle I’d been able to pull any coherent thoughts together. He’d sat there so normal and blasé, and I’d been squeezing my thighs together under the table.
We clicked through next month. I practically drooled at the amount of on call and off time he had. A dream. But it was all balanced out by the staggering number of non-clinical days he had to work. I’d seen other attendings’ calendars, and it was nothing like this.
“How do you even function?” I pointed at the three days he’d blocked off in a row to prevent any surgeries from getting scheduled. “No wonder we never see each other.”
“Teaching days, admin. Interviews. You have an admin day then, too.” He pointed at the third day, enlarging it so I could see the title: Second Round Attending Interviews - Dr. Lainey Carmichael.
“I haven’t gotten my interview date yet.”
“You didn’t hear it from me.”
“Right.”
We lined everything up as perfectly as we could for two surgeons who were also juggling other projects. My cursor hovered over the ‘submit’ button, checking one last time before I put in the request.
“You’re sure no one will think this is weird?”
“For one month? No.”
I clicked submit. “Even if anyone notices, it’s not like we’re doing anything wrong, right? Right?” I repeated it when he paused. His fingers scratched his beard. It was getting longer than he usually liked it. I wonder if he was planning on trimming it soon. Was it weird if I asked to watch?
“Right.” He clicked submit, too.
“Because we’re not dating.”
“Mmhmm.” He didn’t look at me. If he did, I probably would have been able to see the words“bullshit”plastered across his forehead in big, flashing letters. But he didn’t say anything else on the topic, allowing me to keep my no-strings, trial-dating illusion intact, at least for now.
???
We had another week before our beautifully coordinated schedule began. In the meantime, we tried to make due withhopefully inconspicuous chats during the day and ridiculously long phone conversations at night. And I tracked his location like it was my job. If he knew how often I checked his little dot, he’d revoke my access immediately. I was a fiend.
On my off night, his little dot still pulsed at the hospital when I walked into R3.
I snapped a picture of me in the R3parking lot, as close as I could get to the spot we’d practically melted the gravel down. He liked the image immediately.
“Holy crap!” I gasped, staring down at the text. Who the heck was this, and where was my oatmeal attending? I palmed flaming cheeks, glancing up to make sure no one was around, like somehow his text was lit up like a bat signal of impropriety above my head. Only a few folks trickled to the front of the building and none of them seemed to sense the aura of horniness around me. My phone buzzed again in my hand.
I stumbled up the sidewalk, thumbs flying.
“I need your help busting out of this joint.”
A hand whipped out to grip my arm. Jas shook me, looking frantic.
“Whoa. Hey, you okay?” After one night in the hospital and a minor preeclampsia diagnosis, Jas was on strict orders to check in with her doctor every week and “take it easy.” For Jas, this equated to working from her home office and relying on “Gammy June” more than usual to look after Eli.
For Conner, that meant bed rest whenever possible, and hauling her to the gym the rest of the time to keep a close eye on her. She’d been texting me sporadically about Conner’s ridiculous hovering ever since her hospital stay.
The texting had been nice. Low-key, though we got along well enough that she’d talked about going out for drinks or dinner after the baby came. But today was the first day she’d physically accosted me. She had crazy eyes, and I told her so.
“He’ll hardly let me out of his sight topee, Lainey. It was cute at first, but now I just want to have a minute to myself.” Her fingernails bit lightly into my skin. “Last night, I went to bed atseven thirtyto watch Bridgerton and he followed me. As if I wanted to watch the carriage scene with my husband right there!” she hissed, eyes darting around like Conner could pop out from the mats at any moment.
She shouldn’t have worried. He was standing right behind her. I had clear sight lines to where he was instructing a patient to stretch their knee out, while he stared at us.
“Alright, Jail Break.” I checked the clock on the wall. I had time for a quick stroll as long as Will was cool with me being a few minutes late. “How about a walk around the parking lot?”
