Page 54 of Hearts on the Table
That was about as far as I would travel with Jas, especially knowing that her helicopter husband wouldn’t be far behind.
“Yes.Yessss.Tiago has been making me these adrenal mocktails. Let’s have a drink. Omigod. Lainey, a drink! With a girl! Without a child hanging off me. Girl time!”
“Shit.” Tess stomped out of the ladies’ locker room. She was usually an early-bird like me, but when I’d texted to let her know I was taking a late class, she’d agreed without hesitation. After a few weeks of regular classes together, I liked her quiet, sharp wit. I’d never heard her curse before, and had definitely never seen her with that violent, bitter look on her face.
As she picked up the water bottle she had dropped, the top came off and water spilled onto her hands. She pelted it down onto the bamboo flooring, where it bounced and rolled to a stop at my feet. “Shit!!”she whisper-shrieked, grabbing at her ponytail.
Jas and I exchanged wide-eyed looks. “I’m not the only one who needs a girls’ night,” she muttered. “Hey! Tess, right? I need to get the fuck out of here. You coming with?”
It only took her a few minutes of prodding to get Tess and I to agree to skip our workouts and head over to Molido’s, where apparently they turned off the espresso machines and transformed into a wine bar after five p.m. She sold me on the promise of cheese.
“And don’t you dare just stand out here for the next hour while I’m in there. For fuck’s sake, Conner, go do something that has nothing to do with me or the kids. Your mom is watching Eli for the night. Get wild!” Jas yelled across the parking lot. Conner paced along the line separating R3’s parking lot from Molido’s, looking caged.
“It’s not like I’m going to go hit up a strip club or something, Jas. I need to be here in case—”
“In case nothing! Go! Be free! Look at some titties!” She threw her hands up like she was at Mardi Gras, then ducked inside the packed cafe.
Conner ran hassled hands through his hair, then held them up to me, pleading. I gave him a thumb’s up, following Tess up the stairs. “I’m on it. I’m a doctor!”
He was still pacing when the door closed behind us.
Chapter 20
Lainey
“I don’t want to talk about me or children.” Jas waved at her belly as Santiago rushed over to clean up the table she sat down at. Considering the scowling looks of some people standing in the corner, I had an inkling that she’d stolen someone’s spot. Tess glanced at me uneasily, as if sharing the same concern. “Give me something good, ladies. I need intelligent conversation, where someone doesn’t ask me twenty times in an hour if I need anything.”
I studied the scarred wooden table Tiago wiped down. Usually, I was a wet blanket when it came to personal discussions. I had nothing going on except work stuff. But now…
“My ex best friend who cheated with my ex-boyfriend has moved to town and I might have to work with him in a month. And I think I’m emotionally stunted. And the board at my hospital has gone insane with power and I’m worried they are legitimately risking patient lives.”
Jasmine pointed at me. “Yes. Great. We will get to that. You?”
Tess hesitated, her gaze flicking back and forth between us, before she blurted, “What happens when you get everything you’ve ever dreamed of and it actually sucks and you’re scared you’re just a trash human who will never be happy despite working your ass off for years to get this far?”
My eyes went wide. Tess’s did, too, as if she hadn’t meant to say any of that.
“You need wine,” Santiago pronounced, nodding down at us. “And cheese. Carbs.”
So, I sat with a glass of wine and a piece of brie, talking about work and ethics and happiness with two…friends? Yes, maybe these women were friends of mine. They were smart and kind and when Tess broke down into tears because her work as a creative director wasn’t all she’d thought it would be, that was okay. And when Jas told us she was worried about what kind of mother she’d be to one son, let alone two, that was okay, too.
It was alright when I whispered, “I’ve worked all these years to become an attending at Cedar, but I don’t know if I can work for those people.” A truth I’d hardly even articulated, myself. Tess patted my hand, and Jas handed me another piece of gouda. Jordan dropped off a tray of brownie bites.
Was this what I had been missing ever since I’d closed the door to personal relationships? Growing up, I hadn’t had anyone close enough to talk to like this. When Katie came along, it was like the heavens had opened up and sent an angel.“This is your person,”the universe had said.“This is your chance to have a real, true friend.”
Even though we’d jointly collected a few friends during college and med school, those relationships had fizzled when everything had fallen apart. I’d convinced myself I didn’t need them. But maybe, just maybe, I did.
Eventually, Tess announced we needed to talk about something happy, and we both agreed. Jas’s eyes narrowed at me.
“How goes it with Samuel?” She arched her eyebrows ominously. “Can’t be too bad. Word has it you two were fornicating on the gym mats a few nights ago.”
Tess choked on her brownie, and I thumped her back.
“We weren’thaving sex,” I hissed, glancing around for Tiago. This would be the type of thing he’d eat up. Unless he alreadyknew. Oh God. What if June had seen the security tapes? “We were just kissing.”
“Hot kissing, by the sound of it. Relax.” Jas swirled her cranberry-cherry juice in the wine glass Jordan had given her. “Will hasn’t shown it to anyone. I think he only told Conner, but obviously Conner told me because he’s legally obligated to.”
“We don’t have to talk about this,” I told Tess, whose eyes were the size of the cheese plate. In my head, I begged her to please change the subject. I wasn’t sure I was ready to talk about Sam to other people yet, especially not his sister-in-law. Unfortunately, Tess must have lacked the psychic powers I hoped she had.
