Page 6 of Hearts on the Table
She scowled again, which told me I’d hit on the truth. The guy would have approved her surgery in a heartbeat. “A bypass might feel like the right move now, but it won’t fix the underlying issue.”
“Switch!”
We ignored my brother’s command. Lainey aimed a halfhearted jab at the bag. “Okay, maybe…you’re right.”
I’m not sure what my face betrayed, but I was exactly right and we both knew it. Her scowl deepened. I wanted to trace the little lines between her brows with my finger.
“Fine. But”—punch, punch, punch, punch—“my freaking EVLP?!”
“Orders from above. Don’t shoot the messenger.”
“You’re practically in charge of the fellowship program. You could have pushed back.” She wouldn’t be glaring at me so much if she knew just how much I’d pushed back on that mandate from the board.
Jones’ grandfather had pitched an everloving fit when he noticed Lainey got better surgical cases than his grandson did, and he’d put Lainey directly in his sights. After sitting through his winding, half-hearted speech about equal learning opportunities, I’d kicked up enough of a racket that the director of the program had pulled me aside.
“Your points are valid, Reese. We can’t let the quality board choose the people in the room with the patients. We can’t do anything about it now. Let me handle the next one.”
It was nice to know the director had my back. But that didn’t do shit to help Lainey now.
“I was integral”—punch—“to that”—punch—“case. And you humiliated me”—punch—“with frickin’ Jones.”Kick.
“I tried to get them to change their mind. When that didn’t work, I got you a quad bypass. It won’t be a walk in the park. And Jones isn’t half bad, either,” I offered. She didn’t even deign to look at me, scowl or not. And I hated that. “Come on, Carmichael. Don’t get a God complex on me now.”
She wasn’t. She wouldn’t. She was a helluva doctor. I’d gotten about four requests for her to assist with surgeries next week within hours of the EVLP clearing from her calendar. The bypass had been the most complicated, the only bone I could throw to her.
She paced away again, resting her gloved hands on her head. That little curl had escaped again. Will strolled into my line of sight and gave me awhat is happening here?look. I ignored him, as I did, often.
“I am sorry that I compared you to oatmeal. It was unkind and I regret it. It was undeserved.”
“Excuse me?” I wasn’t sure what threw me most: that she’d chosen this moment to make eye contact with me for the first time all morning, or the words she’d blurted. “Oatmeal?”
She swallowed, eyes round. Contrite. “I was angry yesterday. And I compared you to oatmeal, which is inexcusable and unprofessional. So I apologize.”
“For…comparing me to oatmeal?”
“Switch!”
“Yes. Kind of, you know…bland.” She had the decency to look away as she said this. All the better, because she’d just roundhouse-kicked me right in the proverbial nuts.
“Ouch.” Bland. It was just another word for boring. Or shy or uninteresting. Things that people had been calling me my whole life. It rarely bothered me anymore. I knew I wasn’t oatmeal, so to speak. But I’d hoped that maybe Lainey, who I’d worked with for several years, might have seen that, too. “Are the residents going to give me a new nickname now?"
Her shoulders bunched up to her ears. “No, I only said it to Rija. I was just venting. Listen, I’m really sorry. But this is maybe the longest actual conversation we’ve ever had with each other, like, ever. And I’m realizing just now that I haven’t given you enough credit. I tend to be fairly single-minded.”
I already knew that. Sometimes I shuffled a little closer to her in the OR just to make sure she was still breathing. She got so caught up in the procedure she nearly forgot about basic vital functions. “Single-minded” was putting it lightly.
“But you’re being really honest and you’re right. You’re right about all of it, with Jones and the collaborating and all the things. Insulting you is childish and if you’re being honest, I will be honest, too.” She bit her lip, looking up at me. “Again, I’m sorry. I hope this doesn’t affect our working relationship.”
“Break! Sam, you decide you’re not participating today?” I held my hand up to Will. I didn’t want him intruding on whatever was happening in this moment with Lainey. Oatmeal aside, she was standing there with her hip cocked, staring right at me. And something about it felt new. She’d looked at mealmost every day for the past three years, but right now, right this second, was the first time she’d everseenme.
“Oatmeal is pretty brutal.”
She hid her face in the gloves. “I know. I’m so sorry. I really hope we can move past this. I wasn’t myself yesterday.”
So many things ran through my head, mostly some variation of “you can make it up to me over drinks later.” But I wasn’t that guy. Never had been.
“I’ll forget the oatmeal if you don’t hold the EVLP against me.”
“Deal,” she answered without hesitation, which made me smile. I stuck my glove out for her to tap. She smiled, too. Her eyes sparkled and despite never being that guy, something about this moment felt pretty ideal. I opened my mouth to say…I don’t know. How beautiful she was or how her sutures were impeccable and that made me want to buy her flowers on a weekly basis, or that she was warm and kind and everything I wanted in my life. Or maybe just to ask her to grab that drink with me.
