Page 75 of Hearts on the Table
The idea of seeing him around, or even both of them, wasn’t great, but it didn’t seem as horrible as it had a few weeks ago. I was even starting to make peace with the fact that I might have to work with Nate. It wouldn’t be ideal, and I still didn’t want them near my personal life, but Katie and I could do this. Civil. No tears.
“Anywhere else I need to avoid?” she asked. “I’ve been dying to try the coffee shop next door. Please don’t tell me it’s off-limits.”
I nearly laughed out loud, trying to picture Tiago’s reaction if he knew who Katie was and our history. We’d only hung out a few times, but I got the sense he’d ride into battle for me, if need be, just because of Sam. “The owner is Sam’s best friend. So…”
Her face fell before she recovered with a self-deprecating laugh. “Wow, you’re calling dibs on the good gymandthe good coffee shop? Ice cold.”
“I think I deserve them both, under the circumstances.” I grinned, easing the sting of the barb that I couldn’t help but throw her way. My big girl panties were only so big, after all.
“Of course. I obviously didn’t mean…I mean, of course.” She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, fidgeting. “It’s nice to see that you have this life here. I was worried about that when you left. These people love you, and I’m glad. You deserve it.”
Her head tilted to the frosted glass where we could make out Sam’s shadow as he talked with Conner. “It’s not like that,” I rushed. Some of my alarm must have shown on my face because Katie gave me a soft smile.
“It’s okay. The heart wants what the heart wants. Trust me, I’m not a stranger to that,” she drawled, dryly. “I just want you to be happy, Lainey. I’m glad you seemed to have found that here. Your secret’s safe with me.”
I replayed the conversation again and again that night, searching for some hint of malice or shiftiness. I came up with nothing.
Maybe she was being sincere, and didn’t care that Sam and I were flouting hospital rules. But I didn’t know how her husband would feel about all this, or if he’d be petty enough to slip that information to the right person at the right moment to edge me out of the interview process.
I kept my worries to myself. Sam would probably do something like go to HR to try and head off the threat, and I wasn’t sure I was ready for something like that.
Things felt like they were too delicately balanced to risk it. Not right now, when I hadn’t seen the inside of an OR in a week. So, we made chicken piccata and drank beer on his porch and I worried about it constantly in my brain, all night long. Even my Sam mute button didn’t work.
I wanted to believe Katie, I really did, but they’d already screwed me over once to get what they wanted. Who’s to say they wouldn’t again?
Chapter 28
Lainey
Blake didn’t waste any time. That Friday, after finishing the rest (and hopefully the last) of my media interviews and catching up on my patient notes from Sam’s couch, I wandered the halls of Mercy while he gave me the song and dance.
I’d accepted his offer of an interview somewhat on a lark. My blood had been boiling, pushed too far for too long by Cedar’s board. Taking an interview with a failing hospital seemed like the ultimate smack in the face for such a prestigious institution. What did it matter, I’d thought, when I wasn’t going to end up at Mercy, anyway? If taking another interview made me feel in control of an uncontrollable situation, so be it. The trouble was, this failing hospital didn’t seem to be failing so much.
The campus was nothing as flashy as Cedar’s new digs. The yellowish linoleum floors had cracks here and there, and the gray walls had a few scuffs, but the halls felt homey and well-kept. Everywhere we went, people smiled. Patients, doctors, everyone. It wasn’t that we were constantly scowling at Cedar, but all these friendly faces made me realize the Cedar staff ran around pretty harried and self-important most of the time. Blake gave me a rueful grin when I mentioned the contrast.
“The issues with the board were a big wake up call for everyone here. Good opportunity to reconsider our values. All our directors teamed up to develop a new value and mission statement. Our nursing leaders are spearheading our ‘PeopleFirst’ campaign. The patients like it. It’s a refreshing way to practice.”
I’d seen signs about “people first” all over the hospital. I’m pretty sure there was even a billboard outside, promising to put patient and provider well-being over profits. Cedar did stuff like that all the time, but it always seemed like lip-service. This actually seemed, dare I say, legit.
The cardiac unit left a lot to be desired. The fallout of the board’s corruption had hit them the hardest, and it showed, but I noticed that while there were abandoned beds here and there, medical staff were actively attending to the patients in occupied ones. I marveled at a young surgeon who seemed to be personally overseeing post-op procedures. At Cedar, we usually left that for the residents or the NPs.
“Dr. Hadley, meet Dr. Carmichael. Hadley’s my right hand. This place would crumble without him.”
“THE Dr. Carmichael?” The surgeon shook my hand after emerging from the patient’s room. His dark fingers enveloped mine.
“Oh, please. THE Dr. Carmichael is my mother. Just Doctor is fine.”
He laughed, shaking my hand slightly longer than was necessary. “I thought he was joking when he said he landed an interview with you. I’ve been following your research on hemodynamic optimization for LVADs for a while. Practically binged the article you wrote forCirculationlast year with your preliminary findings.”
“Hadley is scrubbing in with Cooper for the LVAD next week. Dr. Carmichael was supposed to assist on that case at Cedar.”
“You’re familiar with the patient?” Hadley practically waggled in his sneakers. “Do you mind me asking what your research suggests for longer-term synchronization with thedevice? She’s an active woman. We want this to go as smoothly as possible for as long as it can.”
He asked me smart questions, not that I expected any different. He was a heart surgeon, after all, just like me. Or perhaps Ihadexpected something different. Maybe I’d drunk the Cedar Kool-Aid and imagined myself as superior.
It felt a bit odd to explore another program’s inner workings after being at Cedar for so long. Weird and surprising yet equally shocking that I didn’t totally hate what I saw. The ORs were outdated, but Blake assured me the team was working on several fundraisers to help support renovations over the next few years.
“It’ll be helpful to get some high-profile cases for that. I mentioned it at the bar last week, but we’re pushing to bring more innovation in-house. Better doctors, more curiosity, and bigger surgeries.”
