Page 84 of Hearts on the Table
“Yes.” There was no use denying it. I hadn’t technically been keeping it a secret from her. More like waiting for the right time. And now it was catching up to me at the exact wrong time.
I wanted to be holding her and talking about ordering Mexican for dinner. Not fighting. But that’s what this was gearing up to be. The tilt of her chin told me she was spoiling for it.
“Were you planning to tell me about it at any point?”
I paused, choosing my words carefully. The process was difficult, given how tight the invisible band around my skull had become.
“Don’t stand there andthinkabout what you want to say, Reese. Just say what’s in your head!” The papers cracked as she swiped them through the air.Jesus.
“Of course I was going to tell you. I was waiting for the right time.”
“Ooh, sure. The right time. Probably before Sturmond blindsided me with it when he accused me of sleeping with you to get the attending position.”
“What?”
“Yeah, super swell meeting today. Because of your little stunt”—she waved the papers around again—“he knows we’retogether. He’s threatening to expose us unless I keep up my media appearances. We’ll be a laughingstock.”
“How did he know?” I rubbed my eyebrows. I’d specifically asked Gina in HR to keep it quiet when I’d turned in the paperwork informing the organization of my relationship with Lainey. It had been too early to say anything publicly, but I couldn’t keep doing whatever it was we were doing together when I was interviewing her.
“Apparently, his spy network is impressively large. How could you, Sam? You said we’d take this slow.”
“Wearetaking things slow. I told you not to worry about the hospital finding out.”
“Yeah, becausethey already knewabout it. Does Caplan know? Who else, Sam?”
“It’s a massive conflict of interest, Lainey. I’m biased as hell towards you. There’s no way I could have kept going pretending like everything was fine while I interviewed other people for a job I wantyouto have.”
“You should have told me! That’s what normal people do!” Her face twisted. “It’s called communication. I know it’s a foreign concept for you.”
“What is that supposed to mean?” My brain throbbed, vision going blurry. She was coming at me hard and everything seemed all wrong.
“It means you don’t give me anything to work with! I never know what’s in your head. I watch you filter every word that comes out of your mouth. It’s ridiculous!”
“Idon’t giveyouanything? The only thing I’ve gotten fromyouis red lights. You’ve been against this, us, from the start.” My palms dug into my eyes. Little fireworks exploded at the pressure on my lids. “Forgive me if I couldn’t find the right time to tell you I was fulfilling amoral obligationto tell the hospitalabout us, when you made it very clear you didn’t even want a relationship to begin with.”
“You know why I had my reservations about this. And guess what?” She waved the papers through the air again. “I was right. Once again, my life is falling to pieces all because I picked the wrong guy.”
“Now, hold on—”
“I told myself not to get too tangled up; not to mix work with my personal life. But you went ahead and did all the paperwork without me. You had no right to make this decision for me.” The papers spun where she tossed them on the granite countertop. “Now, Stumond is breathing down my neck and both of our reputations are on the line. I’m already on thin ice because of how I became a resident here. Now, it just looks like I’m using someone else to get to where I want to go. Like I can’t get there on my own.”
“No, it will look fine.” When it all blew over. No one would give us a second look when we were celebrating our tenth wedding anniversary. But I couldn’t say that. Not without pushing her away even more. Not when she was looking at me like she wanted to fling a dagger at my neck.
“It will not. You know, the ridiculous thing is that you’re right. Ididn’twant this. I knew better.” I watched the emotions play across her face. The anger, rage, now edged with resignation. The grim acceptance that flickered in her eyes spiked my heart rate. It didn’t look like she was spoiling for a fight. It looked like she was giving up.
“Wait, Lainey. I know you’re mad, just…” Her bag was sitting beside the front door. Fully packed. “What…what’s happening here?” The band around my head contracted a bit more.
“I’m leaving.”
“Hold on. Just…dammit, Lainey, wait. Let’s talk about this.”
“Oh, now you want to talk? It’s too late.” She grabbed the handle of her duffel. I took the corner around the island so fast, I banged my hip hard enough to bruise.
“Fuck. Listen, I know you’re mad right now. But—” I reached for her, but she just kept backing away.
“Yeah, I’m mad…and disappointed. I thought I could trust you.” Betrayal was written all over her face. I felt like the smallest piece of shit on the planet.
“Honey, you can—”
