Page 7 of Love.V2
Six months later - Chicago
“Scale of one to ten, how much are you freaking out right now?”
Two thousand?I hummed, hands shaking as I downed the rest of my coffee. Black with a little milk. I usually preferred something sweet and flavored, but I was out of creamer and my anxiety had eaten me alive yesterday. Going to the store had seemed like an insurmountable task. “Probably like an eight?”
“Liar. It’s at least fifteen,” Vanna accused.
“Yeah, that’s probably more accurate,” I admitted, relieved she’d lowballed it. Fifteen was high, but it was no two thousand.
“Just remember, today is like any other day. The sun rises, you go to work, you go home,” she coached. I could hear the soft cooing of a baby in the background.
I’d told myself I was going to stop using Vanna as an emotional crutch. With everything going on in her life, I shouldn’t have bugged her, but today was an exception.
“It’s just a presentation. You’ve given hundreds of presentations throughout your very prestigious career, young lady.” She was lecturingnow, and to be honest, it kind of helped. I desperately needed a distraction and some external validation.
Unlike college, my most recent dramatic life upheaval didn’t come with a pre-assigned dorm buddy. No study hall or group assignments to force me a little further out of my shell. Most days, this 2.0 version of my adult life was just me, my teeny apartment, and the job I still wasn’t sure I was qualified for.
No friends…no Dylan. Just Vanna on the other side of the world. I really needed to find some people in my own zip code.
“Right. It’s just a presentation,” I repeated.Where I have to report my first six months’ progress at my new job. In front of my ex.
I took a deep breath—in for four, out for four—and told myself it was okay to be nervous. Under my leadership, the creative department at Jinx had done some great work, but we’d also lost a few deals, and I wasn’t excited to rehash that.
I’d worked on proposals all the time at Worther. I knew the drill: you won some; you lost some. Now, though, I wasin chargeof those pitches, and Jinx, the boutique creative agency I worked for, was a smaller shop.Muchsmaller. I didn’t know a ton about the business side of things, but I assumed the missed opportunities would eventually start to add up.
I wasn’t sure how many losses were acceptable, or at what point Jinx’s CEO, Eric, would realize I didn’t know what I was doing and send me packing.
“It’s just a video meeting, right? And a bunch of other people are presenting, too. Just ignore the screen,” Vanna said, but I heard her unspoken advice: ignorehim.
Dylan. My other half for over a decade.
When I’d found out the Worther executive team was going to virtually sit in on Jinx’s annual Town Hall, I’d spiraled into the spiral of all spirals. I didn’t feel great about my job most of the time, anyway. Yes, it was fun and challenging, but I hadn’t really gotten the hang of it yet. Having to admit defeat in front of my former bosses was demoralizing. And facing Dylan? I wasn’t ready for that. Even if it was just through a screen.
I rubbed at my chest. I’d thought I’d gotten used to the sinking, caving in feeling in my ribcage that had followed me all the way to Chicago, but today, the thought of seeing him again exacerbated the symptoms of my heartbreak, making it hard to breathe.
In for four, out for four. I shoved a strand of lavender hair behind my ears. Ditching my natural blonde had felt like a fresh start. I’d always wanted to dye it, and over the last few months, I’d experimented with emerald green, then a bright teal, before settling on this softer, more muted shade. It was a choice I made for me, and me alone, and I loved it every time I looked in the mirror. Now, though, I wondered what Dylan would think, and if it would look like some desperate, clichéd post-breakup move.
Oh, God. Was it?
“So, just pick a spot somewhere on the wall, focus on that for an hour or so, then go about your life. How bad could it be? Unless, wait. Is the twat going to be there?”
I snorted a laugh before it devolved into a groan. “Yes.”
My co-worker Victoria, who Vanna dubbed ‘the twat’, had unfortunately been integral in pulling my slides together. Since I hadn’t beenat Jinx a full year, I’d needed Victoria to fill in the blank on the months I wasn’t there. And boy, had she been glad to fill in those blanks.
I wasn’t sure why she hated me. All I knew was since the day I started, she’d done everything she could to undermine my position. Hijacking presentations, redirecting designers to work on something other than what I’d assigned, and blatantly ignoring my direction. It was an issue, and one I didn’t know how to deal with on the best of days.
I hadn’t had a best of days in what felt like years.
“Well, fuck her. And while we’re at it? Fuck Dylan, too,” Vanna railed.
“Hey, feisty, that baby needs to go back to sleep soon. Don’t get her all riled up,” I warned, smiling at the image of my spunky, loud-mouthed college roommate cradling an infant.
I would have sworn Vanna would never settle down, but when she met Adrianna, everything had changed. Now, she was living her best life in Singapore, raising adopted twins, and yelling at people in two different languages in international courtrooms. I was so happy for her, even though thinking about her perfect life seemed to shine a spotlight on my lonely, broken one.
“Eff them. I’m serious. Icky Vicky has been nothing but evil to you for months, and Dylan was with you fortwelve years, totally lost himself in work, and ignored you most of the time.”
“You don’t have to remind me of what happened with Dylan,” I croaked, surveying my apartment. Along with my second-hand rug, bright prints on the walls made the miniscule square footage seem homey. The mountain of dishes in the sink ruined the effect, though.I could handle those tonight. Maybe. If I had the energy and mentalanythingleft after today.
