Page 26 of Watching You
‘Guys!’ she said grinning. ‘Y’all really didn’t have to be so polite as to stand, but I sure do appreciate ya.’ The mock drawl of sarcasm was lost on them. Several hands went to pockets that could only have contained concealed weapons and all Connie did was smile brighter. ‘Oh, you don’t want to do that. We’re not planning on taking any of you in, unless you make it your business to be difficult. In fact, we need your help.’
A few of the men dropped back onto their chairs and began drinking again. Others remained standing, although most hands had the sense to distance themselves from their pockets.
‘You lot got a court order or whatever it is to say you can come in here?’ a woman shouted from behind the bar. Connie turned and nodded at Baarda who quietly walked to the bar and whispered in the woman’s ear. She reddened, huffed, then declared, ‘Fair enough,’ and exited sharply. Baarda nodded at her and Connie briefly raised one eyebrow in his direction. People underestimated Baarda all the time. She’d learned long ago that the Old Etonian reserve and propriety was a carefully polished veneer beneath which was something far more lethal than she’d initially seen. When Baarda decided something was going to happen, it got done.
‘All we need is a little information about one of your … associates.’
‘Would ye fuck off already?’ one of the men shouted, perching – arms folded – on the edge of the pool table.
‘The sooner I get what I want, the sooner we will indeed fuck off,’ Connie replied cheerily.
A group of men began making their way to the exit. Salter moved to block their path.
‘Listen, cunt, get out of our way. You think I won’t smack a little bitch like you just because you’re polis?’ the biggest said.
Salter said nothing but stood her ground.
‘So here’s the thing,’ Connie called to them. ‘I have a number of officers waiting outside. I didn’t bring them in because who needs to be heavy-handed, am I right? Also, those officers are carrying video cameras, the footage from which will be run through face recognition software. If those are your vehicles in the car park, the details have already been recorded. If anyone’s got anything outstanding – bail, probation, fines, child support payments – then you’re going to want to sit your asses back down. If I get what I want, none of that footage is getting processed. You have my word.’
She glanced at Salter and hoped the plan was going to work. Her word meant nothing given that she wasn’t actually a police officer, but unless and until someone asked her identity, that was their problem. Christie Salter, on the other hand, would be checking the identities and backgrounds of every ‘involuntarily celibate’ member of WATFOR and making sure an intelligence file was opened for each one of them.
‘I bet you’ve got a right tight pussy on you!’ a man as wide as he was short yelled at her.
‘And yet your penis, even fully engorged, still wouldn’t touch the sides,’ Connie said.
Short and wide lurched forward as if to go for her but a wiser man next to him yanked him back into his seat, saving Connie the trouble of humiliating him further.
She didn’t need to look at Baarda’s face to know he’d beshaking his head. He’d cautioned her against interacting, against winding them up, against scoring points, and yet somehow – in the middle of a room of men who most certainly did not have to be celibate if only they could figure out what it meant to be a decent human being – Connie just could not stop her mouth from running. She braved a quick glance at Baarda and shrugged, at which he only raised his eyebrows.
‘Dale Abnay,’ Connie said. ‘He was a local chapter member and he’d registered on your strangely well-organised digital list for attending this lovely celebration of not getting laid.’
There were some shuffled feet and a few coughs in the uncomfortable silence.
‘What about him?’ the man who’d restrained short and wide asked.
‘Well, he’s dead for starters,’ Connie said. That comment won her some wide eyes and a few sharp intakes of breath. ‘So I want to know if any of you knew him personally. Who he talked to when he came here. If he had any enemies, if he was in trouble, any details at all that might help us find his murderer.’That is assuming it wasn’t one of you, were the words she didn’t say, not that it seemed very likely. The only stink she was picking up was of teenage boy’s bedroom rather than anything more organised and effective.
Baarda raised his chin and got her attention, tipping his head towards two men leaning against the bar who were whispering quietly. Salter had turned her gaze towards another near the door to the toilets who was already sending a text message.
‘You’ve already hacked into his computer, clearly, so I wouldn’t have thought you need us, girlie. On your way, and take your wee performing monkeys with you.’
Connie didn’t have a chance to respond before some bravesoul with little neck and even less judgement took the speech as carte blanche to prove what a big man he was, and reached out and gave Christie Salter’s backside an almighty slap.
The room was still collectively drawing in breath when Salter began to turn, grabbing the offending idiot’s still outstretched right hand with hers, and pulling him forward. As she completed her spin, she thrust her left knee down onto his forearm, pulling him off his chair and to his knees on the floor, following through by pushing the back of his neck down with her left hand. In one fluid movement, she wrenched his right arm up behind his back, pushed his hand down so the wrist was at ninety degrees to his arm and kept pressing, shifting her right foot onto the back of his neck with his backside up in the air.
As funny as the sight would have been under any other circumstances, absolutely no one laughed.
‘DS Salter, did you want to press charges? I can have an officer come in to take him from you, if you’d like,’ Connie offered.
‘God, no, I’m not bothering to press charges on this soggy biscuit,’ Salter said.
Connie opened her mouth to ask for an explanation when Baarda stepped in.
‘You two gentlemen at the bar, you next to the toilets, and you in the cowboy boots, out now. If there’s no argument about that, we’ll accompany those people out and the rest of you can stay and enjoy your evening. DS Salter, in your own time.’
Salter gave Baarda an obliging nod, releasing her foot first, then letting the man’s arm drop. He took a moment to get upright, leaving his face-shaped dignity in the dust on the floor.
‘Bitch,’ he muttered.
