Page 101 of Psychotic Obsession
Yes. "No," I reply, clipping my seatbelt in. "Aren’t you fed up with sleeping on the couch? Go home and get a good sleep, maybe go have a drink with your friends."
"You know I hate drinking," he replies, indicating his car to turn right. "I might go out, though, maybe go for a long run. Are you sure you don't need me?"
I smile at him, nodding, and focus on staying calm while I feel like crying. "You deserve time away from me," I say after a long pause. "I'm surprised you're still helping me."
He rolls his eyes, turning the music up loud and continuing to drive until we reach my place, parking at the gate. "I forgot to show you this," he says, pulling out his phone. "Tobias' mum made a statement yesterday, asking for her son to come out of hiding.”
Violetta also added in her statement that she sends all the love and well wishes to me.
Ewan doesn’t go anywhere.As soon as he drops me off at my apartment, he’s back within an hour with food, a heat pack, and a few candles, since my lamp is still broken.
Gabriella sits with us for a while, all three of us talking about the last ten years and how we think our lives will be once the twins are here. She’s on her fourth beer, teasing Ewan when he says he doesn’t want to drink.
They used to play drinking games, way before she hated him. They were friends who got along, but when it came out that Ewan cheated years ago and he lied to my face in the present, she lost all respect for him.
So the fact they’re laughing together now is huge progress.
She stands and stretches from the couch we’re all sharing. “I’m going to bed. Please don’t fuck on the couch. And please don’t be naked when I come for my midnight coffee.”
My face heats. “Shut up.”
“You act like you haven’t walked in on us before,” Ewan says, laughing. “Your couch is safe.”
I know this friendship thing is working, but the undeniable chemistry between us is still there. I still feel butterflies going crazy when I'm around him, when he touches my hand or when he's close. I smile when I see him looking at me, forgetting all the mess for a split second.
Why can I not just move on? Why can I not forget about him and accept this is over between us, that we are done?
It’s ridiculous. One minute, I’m all over Tobias, then next, I’m staring at Ewan, wishing I could have forever with him.
When the movie ends, Ewan makes a bed on the sofa, and I go to my room, but I can’t sleep.
Going to him is irresponsible. We’ve agreed to be friends and work out things along the way, but I need him. I want to lie in his arms and fall asleep.
But that would lead us both on, right?
But it’s not misleading. I miss him, and he makes me feel safe.
My heart wins the inner battle, and I shove aside my bedding, my bare feet padding along the floor as I make my way into the living room. I see Ewan on the couch, the blanket dropped to the floor, his legs spread out and his arms above his head. I watch him intently, my hormones going crazy at him only in boxers, his tanned skin defining his abs and tattoos all over.
"Ewan," I whisper his name, moving his leg so I can sit on the edge of the couch. "Ewan."
One of his eyes opens slightly, and he groans as he stretches. "Hi."
"I can't sleep. Can I lie with you?"
He tilts his head at me but shifts to reposition himself, giving me space to lie down next to him, facing him. I can see he's struggling with where to put his hand, kind of floating above me. Feeling my heart race, I cuddle into his chest, bringing his hand down around my side.
Is it normal to cry from happiness in this position? I can't stop the overwhelming feeling hitting me like a tidal wave. "What's wrong?" Ewan asks, moving my hair out of my face as I look up to meet his pale greens. "Why are you crying?"
Swallowing the lump in my throat, I shake my head. "I just hate everything," I let out a sob, my lip trembling. "And I'm so scared I'm going to fail these kids, Ewan."
"You couldn't fail."
I nod, my eyes closing as he runs his thumbs up to my cheek, catching my painful tears. "I always thought if I was to ever have kids, they'd be with you. But..." I struggle to finish, burying my head in his chest again as my body shakes. "I'm so sorry I didn't forgive you sooner."
"That's my own fault, not yours," he replies, holding me against him. "We both know if it wasn't for you, I'd have messed up on the parenting front. You taught me everything. You're not going to do this alone, Aria. I'm going to be here, a father figure in their lives, like you did with Jason. I know we aren't together..." He leans back to look at me, his jaw tensing at my tear-soaked face. "But I'll be here."
I keep my eyes on his, my hands on his chest as I shift so I'm level with him. My breathing is uneven, and I have an urge to close any distance between us.
