Page 116 of Psychotic Obsession
I know I shouldn't, but hearing him say my name and not calling me “doctor” makes the tension around me calm a little. He's not full of rage, or even clenching his fists to hold in his anger. He's relaxed, sitting against the desk with a soft expression on his face, and, if anything, he looks nervous.
Tobias looks like he's hurting, struggling emotionally.
He won't hurt me.
"Okay," I say with an uneasiness in my voice, my hand trembling as I take it from him and use it to clean the blood from my face and neck while he stares at his boots. Putting it down on the desk behind him when I'm clean, I glance at him, seeing his bloodshot eyes, the dimple that seems to permanently dent his cheek, his lip secured between his teeth. It makes me sigh and stand back until my body is against the wall once more.
"What happens now then?"
He shrugs. "We wait on Justin to bring Ewan."
"And what do you plan on doing to him?" The words feel like poison on my tongue, making me nauseous. "You're going to torture Ewan until I agree to go with you?"
"I don't know," he replies, taking a deep breath. "I want it to be me who makes you happy, not him. Do you know how it feels? To be me? To be told every fucking day that what you feel isn't real, that it's fake? I try, Aria." I see his chin quiver, and he sucks his bottom lip into his mouth to stop it. "I try to prove it, and it gets blown up in my goddamn face."
Closing my eyes for a long second, I calculate how idiotic I am as I walk to him, resting my trembling hand on his shoulder. "I need you to stay calm and tell me what you feel." My other hand lands on his other shoulder, and I see him tense. "Do you still feel mad with me here, like this?"
He gulps, releasing a harsh breath, trying to stand. "No."
Try harder, Aria. The blade is so close.
Looking up at him through my lashes, I press against his shoulders until he sits back on the desk. "Tell me why I should go with you."
My heart races, trying to keep myself together while I use seduction to get the knife from him. I'm also fighting against the butterflies fluttering in my stomach from being so close to him,close enough to see his hauntingly handsome features I refuse to admit I've missed. "Give me reasons why I shouldn't be afraid of you."
"Because I don't feel that part of me when I'm with you. I'm not perfect by any means, but I don't have the urge to lose it when I'm with you. I feel very...protective of you. I can keep you all safe," he responds, my body going rigid as he lifts a hand and tucks a strand of brown hair behind my ear, leaving his thumb to rest against my cheek. "Do you feel anything for me anymore?"
"Of course I do," I whisper. "But I don't feel safe around you. You just tried to kill Gabriella, youdidkill Kaleb, and then what happened back at my apartment..."
I feel the fire burning all over me as he drops both of his hands to my hips. The sensation is wrong, forbidden, and I shouldn't be exploding at the simple touch, especially when he pulls me between his legs and drops his head on my shoulder. "I'm sorry. I'm so, so fucking sorry, Aria. I don't want to do this. I don't want to take you or your friends and hurt them just so the girl I love wants to be with me." I hear him choke on a low sob, his body tensing. "This isn't me. Please believe that."
"How do you feel when I do this?" I ask him, changing the subject and running my fingers through his hair, feeling the tension in his muscles under my palm start to lessen. "Do you feel calmer?"
"Yeah," he responds with a mumble and a slow nod. I close my eyes, continuing to run my fingers through his hair while he takes steady breaths, his fingers curling around my hips before completely snaking around the small of my back. "Please come with me."
I don't answer him. I physically can't. Feeling tears welling up and falling down my cheeks, I try to keep my own breathing calm when my eyes fall on the blade poking out from under his shirt as he leans forward, pulling me closer to him.
His breathing is becoming heavy, hot bursts of breath hitting my face. "I don't want to hurt you." His nose nudges mine, tears sliding down his cheeks and puddling at my fingers. "I don't want to hurt our..." He stops, more tears falling with a sharp inhale. "I'm so sorry I fucked up. I wish I could take it all back and be good for you."
I drop one of my hands from his face, resting it on his chest, feeling his heart racing against my palm. "I said I'd stand by you, I swore I would. I still mean it. All we need to do is walk out of that door and get in the car. You can take responsibility for your actions and show our kids you aren't...you aren't the monster everyone paints you to be."
"Do you think I'm a monster?" he asks, his voice breaking with each word. "I don't want to be."
"You just need help, Tobias."
"Could you ever love me again?" he questions me in a heart-breaking tone, his dimples denting while he waits for my response. "Will you let me be part of their lives?"
I don't respond to him with words. Instead, I take a deep breath and press my lips to his, catching him completely off guard as he falls back to sit on the desk once more. We both inhale deeply, groaning in approval as our lips part, moving our tongues in sync, savoring the feeling of something that will never ever happen again.
Because I need to kill him.
I can taste our melded tears each time our lips connect, his murderous hands sliding up my arms, along my collarbones, ending with one in my hair and the other comfortably around my throat as he tilts his head to the side, slanting his mouth, our lips parting once more.
My fingers grip at the material over his chest, and Tobias pulls away from the kiss, making me chase his lips to reconnect them in a desperate plea to keep going. He stands, not breakingcontact while he grabs at my thighs, spins, and places me on the desk, standing between my parted legs while I accidentally moan at his hands moving up to my hips.
I'm using my tongue as a weapon, distracting him with each stroke, nearing my end goal.
I just keep getting side-tracked, becoming consumed by him, being completely devoured by a psychotic killer, and I'm enjoying it. This is so wrong…
