Page 58 of Psychotic Obsession
"Thank God. You were non-existent while he was here," Gabs says as soon as she walks in the front door, Justin trailing behind. "Did you go to work today?"
Shamefully, I shake my head, twisting my fingers as she gives me an ugly look.
It's true. I've called in sick every day that Tobias was here, missed every appointment, ignored calls that could have been important. I wanted to spend time with him before he went back home, and he said it was a good idea to turn my work phone off to de-stress.
So, I listened to him.
"Did you even call your mom back?" she continues, and all I can do is shake my head again. She looks around at our house, the cups and plates filling the sink, takeaway dishes littering the counters. Beer and wine bottles overflow the bin, and I don't notice the foul smell until she points it out. "Okay." She drops her bags on the floor in the hallway, hands on her hips. "Justin, go sit in my room so we can clean up."
"I'm sorry, I've just been busy, and I didn't realize how bad the place is." Tobias left a few days ago and I’ve felt lost. The thought of cleaning up was the last thing on my mind.
"Ewan's been trying to get a hold of you too. You were supposed to pick Jason up from school today."
My eyes widen, and my hand flies up to my mouth, dropping my body onto the armrest of the sofa. "Shit."
I've never once forgotten Jason, and my heart hurts that I did. I feel my eyes watering once more, an uncomfortable lump forming in my throat.
"I told Ewan you were busy. I went and got him for you. That boy sat in the office for nearly an hour." She opens a bin bag, swiping her arms along the counter so all the rubbish falls in. "What's going on with you lately?"
I'm a monster. First, I ditch my work. Then, I closed off the world to spend time with my boyfriend, and now Jason... I'm slowly letting everyonedown.
"This isn't like you, Aria. You're responsible, professional, and you alwaysput others first. What's going on? Where's your head at?"
I look at my best friend, my lip trembling. "I don't know," I sigh, dropping my head in my hands. "I think I'm just tired."
Days of texting backand forth turn into weeks of voice and video calls. Tobias's far too busy with work to visit and I’m just off probation from taking so much time off and missing appointments. But it's my first day back and I don’t have an appointment until tomorrow.
I don’t think.
My files are piling up, emails are delayed, and I sigh when I think about all the stuff I need to do before I can go home and talk to Tobias.
Oh, and who knew that phone sex is actually enjoyable? Tobias talks me through exactly what he wants me to do, begs me to send him videos, pictures, and I do... probably far too many. It's been a long two months without him, and the more time I spend away from him, the more I want him, all of him.
I wish he could be more expressive with how he feels about me. It's a massive struggle to get him to open up fully.
I gulp down my wine, emptying my fourth glass while someone is talking, but I’ve too zoned out to focus on what they’re saying.
Other than that, I've never felt better. Tobias talked me into deleting all my social media accounts, removing myself from that toxic environment. He spoke to me about not going out so much to a point that I would now rather stay at home and do work or video call with him, usually belligerently drunk.
Being drunk makes it easier without him. He said his mother used to get drunk when his father was out of town because it quietened the pain of missing the person and he was right. I still want to see him, but my mind can’t focus enough.
Seeing Jason has been a battle, only having him stay over a handful of times in the past eight weeks. I've completely blocked Ewan. There’s no reason for me to have my ex’s number and be in contact. For me to see Jason, I go through Ewan’s mom, but recently, I haven’t had much time.
I want to sit down with Ewan, work it out, fix this situation for Jason's sake. But when I suggested that to Tobias, I got my head bitten off. He's an ex, and no matter what history we have together, or how much I miss even just speaking with him, he's a threat to my relationship.
"You've gone silent on me again, Aria," the specialist on the other end of the phone repeats himself for the third time, and my eyes go wide as I sit up on my couch.
"Oh, sorry! What was the outcome?"
I hear him huffing, papers crunching. "Ivy Dermot hasn't been selected, but I think you argued enough to change their minds, maybe give them a call and find out when the final listings are."
"Shit," I mumble, my eyes widen at my horrific language. I clamp my hand over my mouth, screwing my eyes shut. "Sorry. I'll call them now."
"Maybe get some sleep first. You've made a great statement."
We hang up, and my forehead meets the steel desk again, groaning at myself. "Fucking hell.”
I struggle to sleep most nights, probably because I'm up until all hours talking with Tobias. The time difference is a pain, and I've come close to asking him to just transfer here or vice-versa.
