Page 84 of Psychotic Obsession
"While you were in America. I got one at the top of my leg too, kind of identical to those."
"Can I see?" I ask, my curiosity getting the best of me.
I've always loved Ewan's body–each muscle is defined, slightly tan with tattoos covering him. Although he has my name on him, many others are also dedicated to me. A picture of myself, Ewan, and Jason as stick figures holding hands on his calf, drawn by Jason himself—my favourite.
He gives me a look, moving away from my exploring hands. "Really?"
I'm going to pretend he didn't pull away from my touch, and I'm also going to ignore the sinking feeling taking over me.
"Is it high up? Oh my God. You didn't get yourbitstattooed, did you?"
"Bits... So fucking PG of you, Aria," he laughs, his hands accidentally touching the sides of my knees, causing me to nearly buckle from the shock running upwards. "It's at the very top of my thigh, near my cock, and unless you want to see it, I can't show you." He points to the stairs, biting his lip to hold back his humorous moment as I scowl at him. "Go to bed."
I nibble my inner cheek. "Can I tell you something?"
"Tell me while I get ready," he says, following me up the stairs and into the bedroom.
I climb onto the bed, the thick duvet I've missed cuddling into covering my body, tucking myself under it while Ewan gathers his gym bag and packs it. The dogs jump up, rolling into balls at my feet. "I'm sorry for being a bitch to you all the time."
He halts his movements, staring at me. "What are you talking about?"
"Since we split up. I cut you out. I just want to say I'm really sorry."
"No need. I had a lot of making up to do," he replies, zipping his bag up and placing it on the bed. "This is good. I like the whole friendship thing we have going on. It's better than the back and forth before."
"Friendship," I repeat, my mouth all of a sudden drying up. "Is it normal to be friends with your ex? What if you get another girlfriend?"
"I mean, I don't plan on it, but you had a boyfriend, remember?"
I plaster a smile on my face when I finally look at him, trying to hide my negative energy, raising my brows as he lies on his side at the bottom of the bed, leaning up on his elbow.
"Yeah," I reply with a giggle, averting my gaze to the TV on the wall above Ewan's head. "Just please don't flash your new girlfriend in my face."
"I wouldn't. I highly doubt I'll ever be in a relationship; not anytime soon anyway. But would you care?"
"Oh, you two!” Gabriella shouts as she walks past the room, slamming the bathroom door behind her. Her voice is echoing, faint, but we can still hear her. "I better not hear you two, or I'll go to my parent’s place to stay."
"She's very dramatic," Ewan says, rolling onto his back, slinging his forearm over his eyes. "Do you remember when wewalked in on her and the fucking dog lead guy, the one who gagged her?"
I pinch my lips together to hold in my laugh, but it bursts out, and he follows. "On my coffee table! What about when she walked in on us in the tub? And I was under the water, sucking your..." I stop myself, feeling the atmosphere shifting, causing me to drop my head and stare at my fingers. "Sorry."
He gently taps my thigh, making me look up at him through my lashes. "We have a lot of memories together."
"We do," I reply, sucking in a deep breath. "How can we be friends?"
"I think it's already working better this way. It'll be better for Jason and the baby."
Jasonandthe baby. I know he's right, and I know I have a very muddled-up mind, especially over the past few months with Tobias. But I can't shake the feeling coursing through me, the ice-cold liquid in my veins.
"So, do you think this is it between us…” I stop and look for my words. “Do you think we're fully over?" I ask, nervously playing with the corner of the duvet, keeping my eyes on the tattoos on his torso. "After ten years, this is it?"
"Aria...you had aboyfriend. For both of us, it should be over. Why do you look so upset?" He leans forward and captures a stray tear falling down my cheek, attempting to tip my chin so I look at him, but I turn my head to the side, holding myself together. "Hey..." He moves into my line of sight, cupping my cheeks with both hands. "We had a good ten years, didn't we?"
I nod, trying to smile through the tears, resting my forehead on his. "We did. I can’t believe it’s been months since we broke up. It feels like years too."
"I know. Nothing changes with Jason, I promise you. Is that why you're crying? Is this not what you wanted between us?"he asks, rubbing his thumbs under my eyes to catch each tear, tucking my hair behind my ear. “We can stay friends.”
I nod, although I want to do the opposite. I want to bat his hands away and climb onto his lap—to kiss him. I want to wrap my arms around his neck and never let go, to beg him not to believe me if I say the love isn't there anymore, because I'd be lying. I want to tell him it has always been him and always will be. But I don't, because he's right.
