Page 92 of Psychotic Obsession
"Aria." He draws out a sigh, his hand finding my waist as I stare at him in the reflection of the window above the sink. "Please don't be mad at me."
"Mad?" I retort as I spin around, knocking his hand away from me. "Do you want me to list off everything you've done to me? Ishouldbe mad, I shouldn't be standing here trying to helpyou once again!" I shove at his chest as I walk by him, standing by the fire, trying to heat myself up as my soaked through clothes cling to my skin.
"Then why are you here?" he asks, standing beside me as we both stare into the dancing inferno.
"You killed people, Tobias. You shouldn't be allowed to walk freely." I pat down my pockets, turning to look at my surroundings. "Where's my phone?"
"There's no signal out here."
I cross my arms, snarling at him. "Where is it?"
He walks until his chest is to my face, his breathing uneven as his nostrils flare. "Why're you here?"
I try to hold my stance, keeping my chin up. "You need to go back," I say, feeling my heart starting to accelerate at his closeness. "You... you're dangerous."
"Are you afraid of me?"
"No," I respond quickly, confidently, watching him nod. I don't flinch as he tucks a strand of hair behind my ear with a shaky hand, and I keep my eyes on his, the intensity in the small act alone is making me falter.
"I should be," I say breathlessly as his fingertips graze down my neck, his thumb pressing on my chin to part my lips.
"I missed you."
I slap his hand away, even though deep down, I want him to continue. "You can't use fake words on me to change my mind. You need to go back and that's why I'm here."
His hands are moving up my arms lazily, slow strokes that have my eyes fluttering, and I don't stop him. "Fake words," he repeats with a sliver of sadness. "You really don't believe that I care for you, do you?"
Even through my cold, soaked coat, his touch is annoyingly electrifying. "No," I whisper. "You can't feel that way about me,it's..." My throat begins to tighten, I tense my jaw to stop it from trembling. "The way you’ve treated me. It's impossible."
"It's not, Aria." Both of his hands reach up to my face, and I feel my eyes water as he takes a deep breath. "I do love you. It might not be the same way you feel it, but it's a raw emotion that's strong enough for me to know exactly what I want and what lengths I'll go to to keep you safe. You and our baby."
I cry, allowing my tears to fall down to his hands on my cheeks. "This is all just a game to you."
He leans in and presses his forehead to mine, my fingers curl around his wrists, holding him to me. "What can I do to prove to you that it's real?"
"Go back," I croak through a sob, feeling my knees buckling. "Go back with me now and I'll believe you."
"I'll never see you again," he replies, his jaw clenching. "I can't."
With a surge of anger, I move away from him and march out to the coldness as I breathe out bursts of foggy air. I bow my head, my body shaking as every emotion floods me.
I feel an immense amount of rage. I'm so angry at Tobias for becoming my assistant, for getting close to him to a point that I'd feel this strongly about him. It's driving me insane that he's done so much to me, yet I still can't look at him without feeling butterflies. I want to walk in there and punch him hard, but then I'd feel bad and probably apologize.
But I also feel confused. I have everything back home with Ewan, I could have a life. Yet, I'm standing on this porch of some random shack with my psychotic ex who escaped during custody.
Lastly, I feel my heart shattering at every passing moment between us. I know it's wrong, but I wish that we met under different circumstances. If he wasn't challenged in ways I can't explain, we could have been something special. I truly believe hecares for me, but love?I find it hard to believe that someone like him could feel that way about anyone when he admitted to me he liked killing.
Love, it's quite a dangerous thing, isn't it? It can have so many effects on someone, positively and negatively. However, is it really possible for someone to love two people? And to be drawn to the wrong person? I know for a fact that Ewan would make me happy, safe, and we'd be a solid unit for both our kids. But with Tobias, we have no future–he’s going to end up in jail for the rest of his life.
It's quite sad actually, that the man opening the door behind me and staying silent while I sob into the coldness has no chance of a proper life. Yet, when he's with me, he's good at keeping himself balanced. When I'm not there, he's somehow capable of murder.
"There are clothes upstairs that will fit you," Tobias tells me, leaning his elbows on the bannister beside mine, glancing at me sideways. "You're going to get sick if you stay in those. They're soaked."
"I'm not getting changed here."
He takes a deep breath and tugs at a strand of blonde, forcing me to look down. "You have that guy's blood splattered over your face and hair."
I gasp and cover my mouth, rushing into the lodge with Tobias trailing behind.
