Page 93 of Psychotic Obsession
"When he’d hit you, did he hurt you?" he asks as I make my way up the narrow stairs to the first floor, flicking on the lights to find the bathroom. "Will the baby be okay?"
"We’re fine," I reply without looking at him, feeling my soul leave my body when I stare into the mirror at my harrowing image of blood.
I lose my footing and grab the sink, looking down at my clothes then to my reflection once more, not waiting a second to start stripping in a flustered manner.
I'm not caring that Tobias is standing in the doorway, keeping his eyes on the wall beside him so he doesn't look at me removing every single piece of clothing. I stifle sob, leaving them in a pile on the floor and standing in the shower, turning on the cool water.
I grab the nearest soap, rubbing off every spot of blood in a hurry, grimacing at the thin trail of red running down the drain as I shampoo my hair, all while Tobias stands with his back to me in silence.
"This is your fault," I say, searching for a bottle of conditioner. "I can't believe you killed him."
"I'm sorry," he replies quietly. "But I was protecting you and our child. Something I will always do."
I turn to face his back. "Sure," I reply mockingly, rinsing the conditioner through my hair, noticing the mirror steaming up.
"Aria." He turns to face me, and my breath hitches. I fully expect his eyes to drag down the length of my exposed body, but he keeps them trained on mine through the glass, gulping down whatever lump has gathered in his throat.
"Don't let them feel alone, that's when it gets dark and the voices start." He taps the side of his head, seeming to be struggling with this. "Control means everything."
"What voices?"
He shuts his eyes and runs his palm down his face. "I can't talk about this while you're naked, Aria. It's distracting."
I huff, wiping down the steamed-up glass so he can see me properly, caught on each other's gaze, the annoying organ in my chest beating faster as the silence between us becomes torturous. With our eyes glued, I tip my head, daring myself to say the words, the feeling of desire multiplying drastically.
I take a deep breath, not sure if I’ll regret it but the words tumble out anyway. "Take your clothes off."
He's taken aback by my request, frowning at me before pulling his hoodie over his head. I try not to gawk at him, but it's useless. Tobias's body is a work of art, the curves of his muscles shadowing his slightly tanned skin, rippling through his shirt before pulling it off.
My favourite part of him is his defined back, so when he turns to pull his pants down, my eyes don't fall from it. I'm ashamed to admit that I feel a twinge of exhilaration between my legs, or that my mouth feels dry when I should be running for the hills.
Memories flash before me, my fingertips running down his spine while he pummels into me, feeling his hot breath on the sensitive skin of my neck while I grab at his powerful shoulders.
"Are you going to let me touch you?" he asks, knocking me from my daydream. I watch as he walks until he's behind me, his bare chest to my back. I try to control each breath that leaves my lungs, but I'm struggling, facing forward. "I’ll make it feel good. I’ll be gentle.”
I feel the warmth of his body pressing against my back, his strong arms wrapping around me, holding me while the water washes away our sanity and the dead man's blood. My mind is a million miles away, yet it's clearer than ever as I lace my fingers in his. I've not had this in a while, the butterflies going wild. "Keep going."
I know enjoying this moment is wrong.
I know enjoying Tobias's body against mine is wrong.
But, as wrong as it should feel, and how insane I must be for wanting him to keep his body attached to mine, I push aside those thoughts while I enjoy this, before it's ripped away from me, before reality settles back in and I need to accept that this... is wrong.
“My father was like me before he died. So there is a chance I pass on the gene to our kid,” he tells me.
I inwardly wince, tightening my hold on his hand. "How did he die?"
He drops his head, so his nose buries into the crook of my neck, making me shiver under the hot water. "He hung himself."
I release his hands and turn in his arms, wrapping my body around his, telling him that I'm sorry about his father. We stay this way for God knows how long, Tobias explaining that he did have a good childhood, homeschooled because he couldn’t handle school.
His dad was unpredictable with his mood swings, always confused and talking to nothing. Finally, he was diagnosed with a bad case of schizophrenia. He took his own life when Tobias was sixteen, and his mom remarried to Doctor Blythe a few years later.
Blythe got him a position in the hospital, believing that he was under control with the new medication he was prescribed. That was until he met me.
Tobias holds me close to him, his chin on my shoulder as he explains that hewasin control, but he started to feel things that were new to him, and he had no idea how to work with them. He stopped taking all five of his meds so he could be good enough for me after Gabriella let him know he wasn’t.
She was only looking out for me like a best friend should. She must’ve noticed something was off with Tobias when we started getting together.
