Page 73 of Nixx
I see this human pulling Sarah by the arm to put her behind him, to protect her from me. I hit him in the jaw and he falls backward.
“But stop! Let him go! But aren't you well? What's wrong with you? You're going to hurt him!”
Ferdinand wipes his split lip of the blood that is now dripping down his chin. He gets up with difficulty. I look at him and tell him in a deadly tone.
“Sarah is MY companion; you might want to think about that the next time you lay your hands on her.”
“Oh, is that it? Is this just a jealousy attack? Are you ready to hurt my friend because you don't trust me?”
Sarah looks beside herself. But I know what I saw. She was in his arms! Voluntarily.
“The remark is valid for you too. Stay away from other males. Or tell me clearly that you don't want to be my mate. Marc has already explained to me that you humans can easily change mates. But I don't want you to do that behind my back.”
Sarah's aura is now pale with anger, making me doubt.
“I see! We are fragile little humans. We’re too weak and shallow to have real feelings. That's why you think I'm going to test other males, because unlike an Eriane, the bond of union doesn't tie me to you until I die? Is that what you think of me?”
I hesitate to answer her. At the same time, it is indeed what I think and at the same time, stated like that, I understand that it makes her angry.
Perceiving my hesitation, she continues.
“Just so, you know, we humans have feelings, strong feelings. Ferdinand is my friend. I have known him for six long years on the Proud. He had a male companion on board who died. Since then, he has been struggling to find his place here. He is treated well, but he can't see himself living the rest of his life isolated here. I was comforting him, because I understand how he might feel. Also, we were gone for almost three weeks. So, he could not talk to me before about his doubts, his uneasiness. And we humans, when a friend needs comfort, we support him. The physical embrace that you saw is a way of showing what you would do mentally: we surround him, we protect him.”
I understand that I misinterpreted the scene and that I behaved badly with Ferdinand. I throw him an apologetic glance, which falls into the void, because he conscientiously avoids looking at me.
But Sarah is not done with me.
“Now let's talk about YOUR attitude towards me.
I can't accept that you constantly doubt me. I am a healer, which means I heal men and women. You can't start grumbling every time I touch a man. That may be normal in your world, but it's not in mine. I touch to heal; I touch to comfort. That's just the way it is. That's the way I am. And if that doesn't work for you, maybe you should find yourself another docile Eriane?
Oh no, I'm stupid! You can't. Because YOU did NOT choose me. You ended up with a weak and fickle little human, didn't you?
You have such a low opinion of me! And what should I say? Me who CHOSE YOU? Not because it was written somewhere, but because you charmed me?”
Her voice died down in a painful sob. Analyzing her words, I don't say a word. They ring so true.
I see the tears running down her cheeks and it causes me infinite pain. I hurt my companion, with my words, with my attitude. I take a step toward her, but she stops me with a gesture and turns away from me.
“Nixx, please go away.”
Undecided as to what attitude to adopt, I decide to accede to his request and leave the kitchen without a word. I join the dining room for the last meal where Lokk is waiting for me.
“Is there a problem?” he asks me.
No doubt my dark aura must reflect my current state of mind.
“I think I just argued with Sarah,” I reply.
“Do you think so? You're not sure?”
“Yes, in fact, I'm sure of it. I witnessed a scene and drew the wrong conclusions. And she's mad at me.”
“Oh yes, I see. You haven't done your Nixx rabies by any chance?”
I look at him without understanding.
“Yes, you know, the Nixx who growls without knowing.”
