Page 29 of Falling Too Soon
26
DAPHNE
My fight-or-flight had fully kicked in by the time I opened my eyes in the morning. I knew I had to get out of the cabin. I just couldn’t think clearly in Nathan’s presence. I could smell the scent of coffee coming from the kitchen, so I knew he was already awake. I peeked out from behind my door, hoping he wasn’t out there, and thankfully, he wasn’t. I tiptoed to his room, and he wasn’t there either. That meant he was probably on a run and I had some time to get out of there.
I ran to my room and packed my bags. Was it childish that I was running away without a word? Yes. But I wasn’t thinking clearly and I don’t think I had since my arrival. After gathering my things, I pulled a piece of paper out of the nightstand drawer and wrote Nathan a note. It didn’t feel like enough of an explanation, but it was all I could do at that moment. I wrote and rewrote it several times. Nothing I put on the paper felt right.
Nathan-
These last few days were a lot of fun. Thanks for letting me crash your vacation, but I have to get back to reality.
Thanks for letting me crash your vacay. Had a lot of fun!
Nathan-
Meeting you has been the highlight of my year. I never imagined I would have had so much fun on my breakup vacation, but you made me almost forget why I was here. So thank you for that. You are an incredible person, and under different circumstances, I think I could have fallen for you. Hard. But I’m nowhere near emotionally ready for more, and you made it pretty clear that you weren’t either. I truly wish you the best, and I know that when you’re ready, you’ll make some girl the luckiest girl in the world.
xo, Daphne
Why the fuck was I crying? God, I was such a fucking mess. I ran away from my relationship with Marcus right into the arms of another man and almost fell for him too.What a disaster. I needed to avoid all men like the plague for a while.
I popped my head out into the living room once more to make sure Nathan wasn’t around. I could barely hear the sound of his shower running, so I figured the coast was clear. I quickly gathered my things, placed the note on the kitchen island, and went out the front door with tears still in my eyes.
“Hey, it’s me,” I sobbed when Lexi picked up my phone call. “I just left the cabin and I’m on my way back.”
“What happened? I’ll fucking kill him,” Lexi spit.
“Nothing. I swear he didn’t do anything,” I hiccuped. “After we got off the phone last night, I took a bath, and while I was soaking, I realized that I needed to get out of here. Being around him was fucking with my head. Or maybe Marcus had already fucked my head up beyond repair, and I’m second-guessing everything. Either way, I need some time alone. You know, like how this week wassupposedto go.”
“Babe, take a breath. I’m gonna need you to calm down if you’re gonna drive home right now. Otherwise, pull over until you can lock that shit down. I need you to get home in one piece.” Lexi sounded worried, so I did my best to collect myself. “Deep breaths. Everything is fine. But why are you so upset?”
“I don’t know. I think I really like him, which I know is fucking crazy. Like, what if I am totally fucking up a good thing by running away? Or what if I stay and it’s not a good thing, and I get stuck in yet another shitty relationship? See?I’m all over the place. I can’t stop my brain from running wild. I just had to go.” I was sobbing now and decided Lexi was right. I had to pull over.
“Bitch, you’d better pull over and take a minute.”
“I am.” I pulled off the side of the road into a lookout area that overlooked the lake. From here, I could probably still see the cabin if I let myself look in that direction. “Lexi, what the fuck is wrong with me?”
“I think Marcus seriously did a number on you and you are second-guessing yourself and overthinking this whole situation.” Lexi continued to talk, but I had stopped listening. I was too distracted by the text messages chiming in from Nathan.
Nathan
Daphne, please come back and talk to me.
Nathan
We need to talk about this.
Nathan
I didn’t mean what I said. I’m an idiot.
My sobbing increased and then Lexi’s voice cut through, “Daphne, talk to me. What’s happening?”
“Nathan is texting me. Oh shit, now he’s calling. Fuck, Lex, am I doing the right thing?” I cried as I sent Nathan to voicemail.
“You’re okay. We can talk about it when you get here. Just try to calm down so you get here in one piece.”
“Okay. I’m okay. I’m gonna sit here for a few minutesand then I’ll be on my way.” My breathing was returning to normal, and my sobbing had subsided.
