Page 74 of The Summer Request
Val turned to her. “I’m so sorry about what I said about Neil. I think I’ve been bitter about my own divorce, just refusing to accept that fact that we fell out of love and – ”
“No, hang on.” Lisa set her tea cup down with a clatter. “You were right, Val. Neil and I aren’t good for each other.”
Michelle’s mouth popped open and she covered it with her hand. She didn’t dare say a word.
“No, no,” Val sputtered, “It was about me, not you.”
Lisa picked up a scone, breaking off a corner and shoving it into her mouth. “Yeah, but it was about me, too. I’m not good for Neil. My help has never helped him. I’ve been hiding things for years, trying to cover up for him so he wouldn’t feel bad, so people wouldn’t see what he was like when he was at his worst. And you know what? He never made a real effort to get help. How could he, when all I did was run after him, cleaning up messes?”
Michelle stared at her, wide-eyed. “What have you been hiding?”
“Oh, everything!” Lisa took another bite and laughed. “I’m almost broke, too. Neil figured out how to steal money from my old company and got me fired. I almost ended up in prison, but I managed to pay them back.”
“Lisa!” Michelle dropped her voice. “If you need money, I can help you.”
“She’s good for it,” Val said with a nod. “She paid my way so I could come here. By the way, Michelle, I’m paying you back.”
“Absolutely not,” Michelle said. “It was a gift.”
“Aw!” Lisa smiled at her. “That was sweet of you, Shell.”
“You know me, so sweet.” She laughed. Michelle didn’t want the money back. She was just glad Val had come. “Sorry, Lisa. You were saying?”
She smiled. “I don’t need money, but thank you. I’ve got a new job. It’s been great, and before, I’d been saving part of my paycheck in a secure account Neil can’t access.”
Val made a face. “Wow. I’m impressed.”
Lisa waved a hand. “Oh, don’t be. I still watched as he gambled almost everything else away. He sold my car and most of the kids’ stuff.” Lisa covered her eyes with her hand for a moment before emerging. “For some reason, I took his shame and made it my shame.”
Michelle reached across the table to grab her hand. “I had no idea. I wish you would’ve said something.”
Lisa took a sip of tea. “You know, I wish I had, too, but it took a long time. That’s what shame does. It didn’t hit me until I saw Justine’s desperation written out like that, until I saw how shame and loneliness make all of us hide away…”
Val grabbed her other hand.
Lisa flashed a smile and took a deep breath. “We can’t let our shame keep us apart, okay? We just can’t.”
“You’re right, Lisa.” Val broke her grasp, pulling away. “And I’m happy for you, but…”
A look of alarm crossed Lisa’s face. “But what?”
“I feel partially responsible for this, like you’re taking my advice in a way, and,” Val blew out her lips, “I giveterribleadvice.”
Lisa laughed, almost choking on a crumb of scone. “It wasn’t you. Not really. You know, I never saw myself doing anything except cleaning up after him until the day I died. I thought I was doing what was best for him, and for the kids, and myself. I was wrong. If there’s any chance of him getting better, he has to be away from me, as painful as that is.” She stopped and smiled. “And now, I want to take Justine’s advice. I want to dare to dream of another life.”
Michelle felt like the air had gone out of her lungs. Lisa was a changed woman. “I’m happy for you,” she finally managed to say.
“Thank you, but enough about me. Val, did your new album get picked up?”
Val shook her head. “Nah. I decided I’ve been clinging to that old version of myself for too long. I accepted the job at the university.”
Lisa smacked her in the shoulder. “That’s wonderful!”
“Ow!” Val smiled. “Thanks. I figure if my students are half as smart as Chloe, it’ll be a good time.”
Michelle beamed at her. “That’s incredible, Val. You’re going to be a great teacher.”
She meant it. She wanted Val to be happy. She wanted Lisa to be happy. She even had given some thought to her own happiness recently.
