Page 45 of House of Roots and Ruin
As I write this, huddled on the floor of my sitting room, just before dawn, a dead woman is outside my window, screaming her death knell, and I now know that everything you said to me was true.
There is something deeply, painfully wrong with me. I feel as though a part of myself—some terribly important vital part—is broken. And I don’t know if it ’s possible to ever fix it.
I wanted to show you I was strong and capable. I wanted to be like you—master of my own fate and destiny—but I can’t see a way forward now, knowing what I know.
Please send help. I know I’ve angered you but I’m still your sister and I’m asking for your mercy. I’ll do whatever penance you insist upon. Just hurry. Yourself. Please.
Your sister,
Verity
A knock on my door rustled me from sleep. Beams of light fell over my face and I scrunched my eyes against the painful rays.
“Miss Thaumas? Breakfast,” a muffled voice announced from the other side.
Breakfast?
Morning.
It was morning.
I untwisted my tangled limbs, wincing as my spine popped and joints protested. Somehow, I’d managed to drift off, curled within the curtains, hiding from the dreadful creaturesI’d conjured up last night. Scattered sheets of paper—half-begun, half-finished drafts of letters to Camille—littered the floor around me.
“Coming,” I called out to the footman. My throat felt rusted over, as if I’d spent the whole night screaming.
Had I?
No.
Surely someone would have heardthatand checked on me.
After stumbling toward the door, I opened it a few inches wide, squinting out into the hall.
It was Alex. His face fell as he took in my rumpled state. “Oh, Verity, are you all right? You look unwell.”
“I…” I frowned, confusion muddling my speech. “I’m sorry, I thought…I thought you were…” Realizing my robe was open, I hurriedly pulled it around my frame, but not before he caught sight of my nightgown. In my fitful sleep, the neck ties had come undone, revealing bare collarbones.
His face instantly flushed. “Oh, yes—it had been meant as a joke. Not a very good one,” he admitted. “I’m so sorry. It’s past nine. I assumed…”
Alex glanced down the hall as if desperately wishing someone would come along to rescue him.
I pulled the top of the robe against my throat, every inch of me burning with mortification. “No,I’msorry. I didn’t sleep well last night and I’m afraid I’m not prepared for company just yet.”
“Why don’t I have breakfast brought here for you?” he suggested, his eyes carefully avoiding me. “I should have known Father would have kept you working too late and…I…I’ll just go see about someone bringing up a tray. Yes.” He backed his chair down the hall before coming to a sudden halt. “Coffee? Do you take coffee? Or tea?”
I angled my body around the half-shut door so only my head peeked out. “Either is fine. Well…coffee,” I decided. After such a night, I’d need every bit of help I could gather. “Black, please. Thank you.”
Alex nodded and raced away, his wheels flying.
“I truly am sorry,” I said again, perched on one of the chairs in the sitting room as I smoothed my hands over the skirt of my best tea dress. I’d picked it out hoping the clusters of blue embroidered flowers would lift my spirits and the white lawn fabric would give the appearance of color in my cheeks. It also boasted the highest neckline I could find, fastening down my nape with three pearl buttons.
Alex had had the decency to wait half an hour before returning. A footman had followed close behind, bringing a tray of coffee, toast, a beautifully poached egg, and a small bowl of colorful fruit.
“The apology is all mine. When you didn’t come down this morning, I thought…” His cheeks reddened again. “I wasn’t sure if it was something I’d said yesterday or…I’m sorry to hear you had an unpleasant night.”
A sharp bark of laughter burst from me at his unintended understatement. “It was…” I paused, remembering how I’d scrawled out my defeat to Camille before crying myself to sleep. Even in my dreams the ghastly women continued to scream at me. “It wasawful.But it didn’t have anything to do with you,” I added in a hurried rush.
It hurt to meet Alex’s gaze, knowing something was so terribly wrong with me. When he found out—and I was certain it waswhenand notif—any budding friendship between us would be over.
