Page 51 of House of Roots and Ruin
“Every woman is always in need of a new dress,” Dauphine insisted. “This is my favorite salon in Bloem and I want you to have a little piece of it when you go home.” She sighed as if the thought pained her. “Where will you go to next, after the portrait is done?”
I hadn’t fully contemplated life past the Laurents’ commission. I wasn’t sure Camille would welcome me back toHighmoor with open arms and even less sure I wanted to return there myself.
But there was nowhere else to go. Mercy lived in a sprawling set of rooms at the palace but her residence was only by the favor of the king. It wasn’t as if the apartment was hers to lend out to wayward family members in their time of need. Honor was in the same situation as a live-in governess, and there had hardly been enough room for Annaleigh and Cassius in their cottage on Hesperus even before their colicky baby arrived.
Mentally, I counted up the scant number of my remaining florettes tucked into one of my valises back at Chauntilalie.
“We’ll certainly miss you,” she added when it became clear that I had no answer for her.
“I will miss you as well.”
“I wonder if…” She paused thoughtfully, then shook her head as if chastising herself.
“What?”
“A mother’s silly daydream, nothing more.”
I recalled Camille’s initial response to Dauphine’s letter, assuming she wanted Mercy to come stay with them, to arrange a match between Alex and my sister.
I would have thought a young man as attractive and as charming as Alex would have had a list of eligible girls lined up for the chance to hang off his arm but Dauphine had said how particular he was, how isolated he kept himself.
Perhaps Camille had been right.
Perhaps the Laurentswerein search of a wife for their son.
I wasn’t opposed to an arranged match. Marriages—especially between noble families—were almost always the result of theparents’ careful planning. Just because I no longer had mine didn’t mean my future couldn’t be just as deliberately arranged….
“You look very deep in thought, my dear,” Dauphine said, interrupting the battle raging in my mind and heart. “Is everything all right?”
I pushed my tongue against the sharp point of my incisor, feeling the importance of the moment before me. I could say nothing, let her dress me up in an ostentatious gown that would only ever be sent back to Highmoor to sit in an armoire and undoubtedly never see the light of day. Camille certainly wouldn’t let me out of her sight again upon my return.
If I returned…
And if I didn’t, what then? I had a bit—a very little bit—of my own money, and what the Laurents would pay me upon completion of Alexander’s portrait. It could get me by for a while…but where? To what end? What was it that I really wanted?
I wanted to paint.
I wanted adventures.
Ididwant someone to share that with.
Eventually.
And Alex was kind. He was smart. He treated me with affection and respect. He listened and made me laugh. He’d become a duke. I could become a duchess. The same as Camille. There was no doubt in my mind that a life with him could be full and happy.
I pressed my lips together, turning through the pages of gowns, ready to cast the die. “I only…It just struck me how terribly much I shall miss all this. I know I’ve only been here a few days, but I’ve already fallen in love with Bloem. It will be difficult to leave it.”
I glanced over to see how well my performance affected her but the shop assistant returned just then, carrying with her an armful of tulle in lavender, peach, and gold. Dauphine shifted her attention back to the sketches, murmuring thoughtfully about the waistline on one of the dresses.
But as she did, I caught the corner of her mouth curling into a small, secret smile.
“These are for you,” Gerard said, entering the study without warning and dropping a pile of books beside thesmall table at the left of my easel.
“ ‘Secrets Kept,’ ”I murmured, tilting my head to read their spines.“ ‘Lessons in the Hidden World of Botanical Language. The Art of Arrangement.’ ”
He nodded approvingly. “Dauphine mentioned you’d selected this for the location of Alexander’s portrait.” He gestured about the room. “I thought it might be nice to have a bouquet painted into the foreground someplace. I may not be able to pick out his legacy but I certainly can remind him of everything that has come before.”
“I see. Are there any flowers in particular you were thinking about?”
