Page 90 of Cruel Debts
It didn't help.
I rummaged for food and a drink, all to no avail. Nothing could sate the real hunger in my soul.
Nothing but them.
But I knew how to take the edge off. And since I was alone, now was the perfect time to take advantage of the situation and give myself a little release.
Which is how I ended up on my bed, wearing nothing but a too-short skirt and a tee shirt with more holes in it than a piece of Swiss cheese, with my hand on my thighs.
I teased myself first, the speaker on my stand playing soft melodies as I closed my eyes and imagined these hands belonged to someone else.
First, I imagined Asher. I knew how his hands felt on my skin. Had felt it already, several times. But that wasn't enough. No, I wanted more. Needed more.
So with a sigh of impatience, I dragged my free hand up to my breast, and rolled the nub of my nipple between two fingers, imagining that Liam stood beside me, and it was him I did this for. I imagined him in Asher's place on the counter when he made me masturbate for him to watch. I wondered what Liam would have done differently.
Would he have commanded me how he wanted me to act? Instead of asking me to show him what I liked, would he have shown me what I didn't know I wanted, didn't know I needed, until I was begging him to take over?
"Fuck," I whispered to the room, letting my hand on my thigh travel upward, teasing the edge of my slit. "Liam," I whispered, tossing my head back as I dragged that one finger through my wetness, wishing he were here to take advantage of the show.
'That's right, Trin, slide that finger inside yourself and ride it like you want to ride me,'he'd say, and then I'd do as he told me, because I wanted to make him happy. I wanted him to be pleased with me, because the only time Liam really looked at me was when he wasn't angry, and that stare seared my very soul and twisted my insides in a way that was foreign to me.
So I did it. My finger slipped right through the moisture that these fantasies created, and delved into my cunt. My head fell back again, the ends of my hair tickling my spine as I abandoned my breast in favor of supporting myself. My legs fell further open, and in no time at all, I found myself adding a second finger, desperate to be filled in a way my own hand couldn't accomplish.
"Dammit," I groaned, fucking myself with increased speed, needing more but unable to get it. What I wanted was on the other side of several doors, and very uninterested in what I had to offer. What I wanted was something inside me that pulsed and throbbed and thrusted at the end of a set of hips so perfect they deserved the front page of women's magazines across the world.
What I needed was?—
"Well, well, what do we have here?"
Hawke stood in my doorway, which meant I had forgotten to lock it or close the damn thing, a bag of goodies dangling from his finger as he watched my greedy pussy devour my fingers. I stilled my movements, but his eyes didn't look away. And I didn't close my legs or hide because, dammit, I was close. I was so close to having the release I needed, and he interrupted.
"Sorry, did I derail your fantasies? I can leave if you want." He jerked his thumb over his shoulder, but the way he licked his lips as I held his stare told me he didn't plan on walking away this time.
"You really should learn to knock," I said slowly, debating the intelligence of what I was seriously thinking about doing. "It's impolite to interrupt a lady when she's?—"
"Fucking herself to thoughts of your friends? Yeah, I'm sure it's really rude, whatever." He set his bag on the ground, dusting off his pants with a frown. "You know what else is rude?"
"What?" I panted, my fingers aching from the way they were still buried inside of me.
"Watching without an invitation." His form sank to the floor as he got comfortable against the wall and grinned. "Don't mind me, though. I'll be quiet. You won't even know I'm here."
This was a challenge—a dare. He thought I wouldn't do it, that I would be so embarrassed that I'd hide from him, demand he leave, and ruin my own good time.
Well, I had news for him. I could be just as stubborn as he was. And I would be, starting right now.
"Suit yourself," I said with a shrug. And then, after I took a deep breath, I picked up where I left off, my fingers moving of their own accord.
Hawke's eyes were glued to me as I moved with abandon, pretending I was the only one in this room, that his presence was inconsequential. That him watching me didn't secretly turn me the fuck on. Because it did—it did so damn much it was insane. But I couldn't let him know that. Giving him one more piece of ammunition was a bad idea, for sure. He already knew how to rile me up and piss me off, and if he had more to use against me, life here would become unbearable.
I could only hope that this got awkward for him really fast. I wasn't sure I was ready to orgasm withhimwatching.
Asher was another story.
"Fuck," I swore, letting my head fall back and my eyes close as my fingers curled inside me. "So good." Okay, so the words, the moans, and the noises I made might've been overkill, but I had to drive the nail in deeper. I needed him to know what he was missing out on, because no way in hell was I going to give in to this asshole. He wouldn't win now, and he'd never win if I could help it.
Even if he did cook for me.
"That's right," he growled from the floor. "Fuck yourself in front of me. Put on a good show, Tee-Bird."
