Page 163 of Ruined Vows
But she’s still here. And that—that—is more powerful than any words.
I watch her in the morning light, curled in a chair with a thick, leather-bound book. Her armor is back, but I can see the cracks in her smile, because I put them there.
Not to break her. Toseeher. And now that I do, I know what I have to be—a killer.
I call Luka to set things in motion. We need to tie off the loose ends. I want my men to think I’m regrouping. But I’m not planning a war anymore. I’m planning a life. One she hasn’t agreed to yet.
And if she doesn’t? Then I’ll walk away. Not because I want to, but because that’s what it means to love something instead of owning it.
But God help me... I want to stay.
So I spend the day quietly near her. I clean my weapons. I even pretend not to notice when she watches me.
But I see the storm behind her eyes when night falls.
She gets up, walks to me, and doesn’t say anything momentarily.
“I don’t know how to be with someone who would die for me.”
I set my blade down. “Then don’t,” I reply. “Be with the man who lived for you,” I say. She stares at me like that’s the scariest thing she’s ever heard.
And maybe it is. Because she’s not afraid of my violence, she’s fearful I won’t return home.
She steps away and leaves me standing in the silence that stretches between us. I want to follow her. I want to say her name. But I don’t. Because if I respond now, the moment will overpower me, and I can’t afford that. I have to end Radovan. Then, we can live our lives.
Everything else on my mind will have to wait. For however long it takes. But I’m not made for waiting. Not really. I paced the room for hours after the meeting with my men. I fight the impulse to go to her. Not because I can’t show love in front of my men, but because she doesn’t need a conqueror.
She needs an equal partner. And I have to be worth choosing without forcing her.
Even if it kills me to stand still, and plan my next move, and wait for the perfect opportunity to end Radovan.
I will wait until this is resolved. She has to choose me, and this life, then I will slide the ring on her finger.
She doesn’t say it with words, but her presence says what her words don’t. And she’s still here.
And that—that—is more powerful than any words.
I call Luka to set things in motion. We need to tie off the loose ends. I’ll let my men think I’m regrouping.
But I’m not planning a war anymore. I’m planning a life. Granted, it’s one she hasn’t agreed to yet.
And if she doesn’t?
Then I’ll walk away. Not because I want to, but because that’s what it means to love something instead of owning it.
No matter how long I live, there will never be anyone else for me. She’s my life.
I blamemyself for our predicament. I shouldn’t have risked the rooftop dinner. Radovan was a ticking time bomb. It was only a matter of time before he went after her, or me. If I’m being honest, he wants us both dead.
The guards rotate every four hours, and surveillance sweeps are doubled. No one enters or leaves without Luka’s clearance, and days have passed with no sightings of my enemy.
But the longer we stay locked behind gates and gun barrels, the more the tension mounts—like pressure building inside a sealed drum.
Bianca doesn’t talk about it, but I see how she lingers by the windows and roams the halls all day. Her hands brush the doorknob late at night, like a woman measuring the risk of breathing freedom again.
“This isn’t living,” she says, her voice so soft, I almost missed it. “But I get it.”
And she’s right. When you’re forced inside, it’s not freedom. It’s not living. However, no wall, no matter how high, could stop the storm already coming for us.
