Page 164 of Ruined Vows
“It’s temporary,” I say. I’m not sympathetic, but that’s how this world is—constantly changing, and we adapt to survive.
When word finally reached me that Radovan had been sighted, I knew it would only end one way—with him dead.
We’ll leave at first light, heading back into he fray and danger.
Hiding was never an option. Not for her. Not for me.
Not for the life we’re building—or burn down the city trying.
They show up in whispers,in numbers on a balance sheet that don’t match, and in a shipment rerouted without clearance.
It’s not sabotage, it’s uncertainty. It’s war, and it costs lives and money.
With Radovan out there, every second-tier enforcer with a scrap of ambition wants to test the waters, to see how deep my blood runs. They want to know how much I can be pushed.
So I need to make it clear once and for all. I call a council meeting.
I see the fear creeping into my men’s eyes. Luka’s voice is hesitant when he updates me. Like they’re wondering if I’ve gone soft.
If love made me slow, if Bianca made me human.
They’re right. Perhaps I will rethink things more now because she’s in my life. But what they don’t understand is?—
She didn’t make me weaker. She made me more dangerous. Because now? I have something tolose.And that changes everything.
I pour myself a drink. Watch the lights blink across the skyline. And start making a list.
One by one.
I will remind them why I wear the crown. And why she stands beside me, and not behind me.
51
BIANCA
I CHOOSE YOU
He was gone all night, again, and I wore a hole in the tile. But now, I find him in the tub, soaked in blood. He doesn’t speak at all. He doesn’t ask me to help. He doesn’t need to.
He lets me kneel at the side of the tub and run warm water over the places he can’t reach. It’s the most intimate thing we’ve ever done. Not the sex. Not the wars.
This is new to me. There’s tenderness where there was once silence. And now it’s silence instead of seduction.
I catch him watching me. And for a second, he looks concerned. He’s not worried about himself. He’s scared for me.
Because this is the part where I’m supposed to walk away, tell him the violence is too much. And that there’s no room for love in this war. And I’m supposed to say to him that love can’t grow where bodies fall. But I don’t say any of that.
I dry his hands and wrap his wounded arm. We quietly move to the patio, and I sit beside him an hour later, as the sun rises over a city he has just set on fire. And I say nothing at all.
Because I don’t know what to say, but I haven’t left, either.And he understands what that means. But he still gives me the option.
“If you want me gone, say it. If you want out, say it."
I flinch. Because I could, I could end this now. I could send him away and tell myself that I’ll be fine.
But I’d be lying because I’d lose a piece of my heart.
I see his concern, and the look that says he would let me go if that’s what I need to be happy. And that’s what breaks me. He puts me above his happiness.
