Page 46 of Secret Bratva Baby
I would never have had Lily.
And even now, in the heat of this anger, I never want to lose him.
But that’s my emotions.
And I need to think with my head. Clear. Logical. Not tainted by my feelings for him.
My heart breaks a little. Regretting the fact that I have to be strong enough to walk away if that’s what it takes.
He pulls into the long driveway of the mansion, nodding at the security guards by the gate as we drive through.
“Rose,” he says, turning the engine off. “Can we talk for a moment before we go inside?”
I unclip my safety belt and shake my head.
Pushing the passenger door open, I turn away from him, but pause. Looking back over my shoulder, I say quietly, “You need to give me some space to think. Please, Luka. I need to clear my head and think.”
He sighs softly and nods. “I understand.”
Luka stays in the car as I walk towards the front doors. I pause at the top of the stairs, closing my eyes to take a moment. I force a smile onto my face before I step inside to find my little girl.
As soon as I walk into the living room, Lily squeals in delight and rushes towards me with her arms spread wide open, her dragon teddy gripped tightly in her tiny hand.
My fake smile becomes real as I crouch to my knees to pull her into a hug. “Hi, baby,” I laugh.
“Mommy, we read a story and made a picture, and we ran in the garden and…” She starts listing everything she did while I was gone.
I stand up with her on my hip, still talking excitedly.
My eyes turn towards Mila, and I mouth the wordsThank you.She smiles and nods.
Carrying Lily upstairs, my heart is heavy and tainted with worry.
How do I disregard everything my heart is screaming and only focus on what’s right?
We are human. Our lives are made up of moments. Those moments have meaning because of how they make us feel.
Luka—Luka has the ability to fill my life with meaning.
But will it be good for us, or bad? Will those moments be an endless stream of worry about our safety, or can they be something more than that?
I set Lily down on the bed, and she scrambles up the pillows, reaching over to grab the dragon books piled up there. She wiggles into a comfortable position, nestled amongst the pillows, and opens the book, turning the pages until she finds the right picture.
She holds the dragon teddy up so he can see the page.
“That you,” she says.
“Have you thought of a name for him yet?”
She frowns at me. “That him, Mommy.” She points to the page.
“Oh, how silly of me. He already has a name,” I laugh, crawling onto the bed next to her to take the book. She snuggles into my side.
“Banana brain,” I say, pointing at the picture of her dragon in the book.
“No, Mommy.” She squeals with laughter. “That not his name.”
“Oh, isn’t it. Okay. Maybe it’s Lemon Soda?”
