Page 39 of Sky Song
“Hey, everybody! How’s it going?” Yanet’s long lashes fluttered and her pretty but protruding eyes roved over their lab.
“Have they found Kim?” Salty asked, eager for news more out of macabre curiosity than concern.
“No, not yet,” Yanet hung her head. “I hope she turns up. I have to say it’s ironic, with her always going on about dangers and stuff, being so careful and prepared - and gone.”
“First Igor, and now she. Maybe there was some truth in their words!” Salty said darkly.
“Not you!” Terrance groaned, distracted from ogling Yanet’s chest.
“Why not if it makes sense? Those disgusting aliens came, then there was a power outage - not a coincidence! Kim warned us about sabotage.”
“Oh, stop it,” Terrance threw his hands up in utter disgust. “If you take Kim’s place with the crazy theories, I’m going to poke my eye out. She made this place miserable. I, for one, am glad she’s gone.”
Yanet shook her head from side to side and made soft noises that could have been disapproval or agreement. After briefly consulting her tablet, she gave Terrance a playful shove with one finger. “Move. I’ll go check on the supplies since I’m down here.”
Terrance fell back, grinning like an idiot, and Yanet brushed him with her hip as she moved past.
Cricket sighed, feeling like the only adult in the room. Today, more than ever, she couldn't wait to go home, but her shift had just begun. Besides, what was waiting for her at home? Nice matched furniture and well-working appliances? Cheery drapes and bright flowers around her porch? Her picture-perfect living conditions suddenly felt lifeless, a two-dimensional picture in a magazine. If only mama could come and share this beauty with her, maybe it wouldn't seem so empty and useless.
When she finally did trudge home, she went straight for Paloma’s purple light, trampling all over her neighbor’s unwillingness to socialize.
“Do you ever feel like you’re angry at the world for no reason?”
“No. I always feel angry at the world for a reason.”
“With all the good things that have happened to me, I feel like a waste of space.”
“I feel like a waste of space, too. Sometimes.”
“And guilty about it. Why?”
Paloma thoughtfully sat down at the gaming setup and peered at Cricket from beneath her fringe. “I know why I feel the way I feel. I suspect I know why you feel some of the same things, but it’s only my perspective.”
“Tell me.”
“You don’t belong on Meeus.”
Cricket laughed without mirth. “Butwheredo I belong? In places like Earth where there’s anarchy and chaos?”
Still pensive, Paloma was looking at Cricket intently. “No, I didn’t mean that. Although because you’ve lived on Earth, you’re likely better at handling chaos than any of us. But you and I - we don’t like rigid structures.”
“Quite the opposite. I want a structure! And I have no desire to test its limits.”
“Wanting order and needing it are two different things.” Paloma lowered her chin. “You don’t need boundaries to guide you. You’re self-guided. Here, the rules constrain you rather than help. Too much of a good thing, I guess.”
Cricket pondered Paloma’s words. “It’s too philosophical, Paloma. My guess is that I’m lonely.” A small lie. She wasn’t lonely so much as she was missing someone specific inappropriately and dearly. Mama, too. Always. But mostlyhim.
Paloma’s eyebrows rose under her hair. “I get it. You’re horny.”
Cricket laughed again, frustrated. “I wish it were that simple. But I can’t connect to anyone. People are flowing around me like water, going on with their lives, making friends and enemies, and I stand still like a boulder in a river. I’m impenetrable to them, uninteresting, and frankly, I don’t want that to change. It’s not them, it’s me, Paloma.” Lyle was the only person who managed to pierce the bubble of otherness she felt surrounded her, separating her from the others.
“I can’t claim to know exactly how you feel.” Suddenly, Paloma’s fathomless eyes got hard and a little ugly. “But I know that here on Meeus, if you’re different, you’re doomed to die invisible, untouchable, and unfulfilled.”
Cricket didn’t want to hear that. She refused to believe there would never be space for someone like herself here. She just needed to try harder to fit in. “What can we do, Paloma?”
But her neighbor’s mood changed again, the seriousness gone, replaced by carefree buoyancy. “We shall dance the life away! Have you heard this new song? Yes, let’s dance.” She reached over and turned the music on, flooding her small house with a lively beat.
“Paloma, I don’t know how to dance.”
