Page 13 of Releasing 10
“Be a good girl and go on up to bed now.” When she opened her eyes, she was smiling a big smile. “And remember that Mammy loves you very much.”
I love you, too, Mammy.
FEBRUARY 10, 1992
Lizzie
“WHAT IS WRONG WITH THAT CHILD!”
“Mike, she doesn’t understand.”
“She’s disturbed, Catherine. A blind man can see that.”
“How can you say that about your own flesh and blood?”
“I can’t take it, Catherine. I’m sorry.”
“You’re a fucking coward, that’s why.”
“It’s killing me to watch her like this.”
“And you don’t think it’s killing me, Mike? The difference is I would never leave her.”
“I’m not leaving her, but I have to get out of this house or I’m going to lose my mind right along with her.”
“Some father you are, turning your back the minute things get tough.”
“Catherine.”
“Go on, then! Run away, Mike. We’ll be better off alone than with a spineless coward.”
JUNE 9, 1992
Lizzie
“HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TOLIZZIE, happy birthday to you.”
My parents and Caoimhe all huddled around me, smiling and singing birthday songs.
It made me feel happy.
I liked it.
Daddy was even smiling as he took pictures on his camera.
“Blow out your candles,” Mammy said, pointing to the pink birthday cake in front of me. “And make a wish, sweetheart.”
Leaning forward, I took a big breath and blew it out as hard as I could.
When the flames on the candles went out, they all cheered.
For me.
I smiled happily.
“Does she even know it’s her birthday?” Caoimhe asked then, and it made me cross. Of course I did. I had a birthday cake, didn’t I? She laughed before adding, “She probably doesn’t even know what age she’s turning.”
Planting my hands on my hips, I turned to my sister and glared. “Four.”
