Page 203 of Releasing 10
Finally.
Be normal with her, my brain commanded,don’t bombard her with questions that’ll put her back in her shell.
“That’s right,” I agreed, draping an arm around her shoulders, while mentally instructing myself tonotreact. “They die.”
“Hugh?” Liz stopped walking and turned to look at me. “Don’t die, okay?”
“I’m not dying, Liz.”
“Please.” Tears filled her eyes as she stared into my eyes and begged, “Don’t ever leave me.”
“I won’t.” My heart cracked in my chest. “I’m not going anywhere, Liz.”
“No matter what?”
“Yeah, Liz.” I pressed a kiss to her forehead. “No matter what.”
“Do you believe in heaven, Hugh?” she asked a little while later, when I had taken her far away from the house that contained her sister’s dead body and the meadow that contained the cretin.
We were still on their property, but I’d put about forty acres between us and the rest of the world. Because I needed to keep her calm andtalking.
“That’s a hard question,” I replied thoughtfully, scratching my chin. “The scientist in me says no, but the Catholic in me says yes.” Sprawled out on the grass, I leaned back on my elbows and looked at her. “Do you believe in heaven, Liz?”
“No.” She shook her head. “Not anymore.”
“How come?”
“Because I don’t believe in anything anymore,” she replied, never taking her eyes off the daisy chain she was making. “I used to, I think, but not anymore.” She shook her head again. “Maybe I’m just broken inside.”
“There’s nothing broken in you, Liz,” I replied gruffly. “You’re just sad. It’s okay to be sad.”
“But I’m not just sad,” she whispered, crushing the daisy chain in her small fist. “I’m angry.”
“That’s okay, too.”
“Is it?” Sniffling, she turned to look at me, making my stomach twist up in knots, when her sad, blue eyes locked on mine. “Am I okay?”
“Maybe not right now.” My heart cracked when I heard her pain. “But you’ll be okay one day.”
“What if I’m not?” She reached up and batted another tear away. “What if I’m never okay again?”
“Youwillbe, Liz.”
“But what if I’mnot, Hugh?” she choked out, crawling onto my lap. “What happens then?”
“Then that’ll be okay, too.” Sitting up, I wrapped her up in my arms and whispered, “Because no matter how happy or sad you feel, I’ll be right here with you.”
“You will?”
“Every step of the way.”
HE DID IT, DADDY!
Lizzie
MAY 1, 2000
IN MEMORY OF
