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“You’re so fucking…good at that,” he bit out, cheeks flushed as his eyelids fluttered. “God, please don’t stop.”
“I won’t,” I promised, working doubly hard on getting him to the point of no return.
PART 18
The Downward Spiral
RUN, AS FAST AS YOU CAN
Lizzie
SEPTEMBER 1, 2003
TODAY WASMONDAY, THE FIRST DAY OF A NEW SCHOOL YEAR, ANDIWAS SLIPPING.
I had to be.
The meds I took to help me live a relatively productive life for two years were clearly waning in effectiveness. It was either that, or my body had built up a tolerance to them. That was the only explanation I had for the situation I found myself in.
All summer, I had basked in my brand-new and wonderful ability to sleep a solid eight hours at nightwithoutdreaming. I thought I was finally turning a corner. I was out of bed more often than in it, and I shed tears less than I laughed.
My relationship with Hugh had gone from strength to strength, I socialized more often, and I even shook my head when Thor offered me a cookie back in July. Politely, I may add, without the menacing scowl or balled-up fists.
The ship that was my life felt like it had finally reached calmer waters.
When I woke up for school this morning, I felt both rested and relaxed. I brushed my teeth and hair, washed my face, and threw on my fresh, new uniform. I ate breakfast, took my meds, and then caught the bus to school. I took my regular seat on the bus, next to my boyfriend, where we kissed until we arrived at school with swollen lips and plans to sneak off to the library at lunch.
From there, I sailed through my first six classes, hooked up with my boyfriend for a sneaky make-out session at big lunch, attended mylastthree classes with a Hugh-shaped smile on my face, before reuniting with him on the bus ride home.
All in all, my first day back to school had been as close to perfect as I’d ever experienced.
So why, when I stepped through the gates of my property, after feeling the best I had in years, was I hallucinating?
Why, when Ifinallyseemed to have things going for me, did I experience the scariest, out of body experience in living memory.
The nightmare started after I kissed my boyfriend goodbye before stepping off the bus. From there, I had stood at the gated entrance of my home and waved him off on the bus before skipping through the open gates.
Yeah, Idistinctlyremembered skipping.
I feltthatmuch joy.
My memories turned hazy after that.
I remembered hearing rustling in the nearby tree line, and I remembered walking over to the trees that lined our driveway on the right-hand side to investigate.
That’s when it happened.
That’s when my mind slipped.
One minute, I was tiptoeing from tree to tree in the hope of catching an up-close glimpse of one of the many wild deer that roamed freely on my mother’s estate, and the next, I was cloaked in darkness.
There was something on my head, covering my face and cutting off my air supply to the point where it was difficult to drag enough air into my lungs. I tried to reach up to rip the scratchy sack-like fabric away, but the unbearable weight on top of my body, pressing me into the dirt, rendered me helpless.
It wasn’t until I heardhisvoice in my ear and my blood ran cold that I realized I was dreaming.
No, not dreaming.
I had clearly tripped, bumped my head, and landed slap bang into my scariest nightmare to date…
