Page 24 of Those That Are Lost
Oh fuck, how do I answer that.
“Of course not,” I lie.
“Then why are you staring?” She hasn’t even opened her eyes.
I want to reach for my shadows, can feel them pressing up to us in the dim light of the predawn.
Her eyes open when I don’t answer. I get to treasure the luminous emerald colour of them for a few seconds but consciousness fully takes over her body and she realises how entangled we are. I mourn the loss of her heat as she shifts back. After she nearly froze in that lake yesterday, I was elated that she clung to me afterwards. It's as if her body knew I needed reassurance last night and let me in. I knew the feeble hope I had wouldn’t last once morning arrived.
She can’t go too far with Henry still sleeping soundly at her back, but I feel like she’s pulling away again.
“Ty,” she whispers softly.
“Please, don’t say anything, it’s okay.” I can’t bear to hear her say it again, reject me again. Once was enough. I can’t stop my fingers from reaching out and brushing the sleep mussed hair from her face though. Whilst I meant every word I said to Henry last night—that I don’t feel that I’m the best person for her to be around—I can’t walk away.
I won’t push her for fear of rejection. But if she doesn’t reach out, I’m not ready to let her go.
If she gives me concrete evidence that my fears are indeed correct and I am the reason her pain isn’t ebbing, I will find the strength to leave my heart behind and walk away. Because it’ll always belong to her, even if I’m not with her.
But until that day, I won’t be leaving her by herself, as we are also dealing with her own demons, the ones in her mind.
She doesn’t reply. She doesn’t need to as a thousand words pass between us as we lay, eyes locked.
Henry shuffles behind her and breaks the spell.
“Can I still die from the cold?” she asks as she withdrawsback into her head once more, her expressive eyes shuttering access to her mind.
“No, not technically. Your body would’ve ceased functioning. You would’ve been unable to move. You only regained consciousness because we warmed you up.”
“That’s kinda scary.” She blinks at me.
Yeah, probably not the nicest feeling,” I agree.
“We’re going to have to sleep in another cave tonight, aren’t we?” She groans, her limbs untangling from mine, leaving me bereft.
“You agreed to the route.”Sweetheartnearly trips off my tongue but for once, I catch myself. I also still haven’t told her or Henry my intentions with planning this particular route.
Henry stirs fully then, stretching out his long body, arms stretching above his head as he groans a groggy, “Good morning.”
“I’m hungry,”Henry states as we finish crossing the final and rather treacherous bridge of the day. “I barely drank two mouthfuls of that goat as you both needed so much.”
We’ve been walking most of the day and surprisingly managed a good pace. We’ve traversed three small islands, navigating some rather hazardous looking bridges. By my calculations, we’ve landed on the far tip of the destination I have in mind.
“Me too, I’m starving,” Red responds. Her body will have used the blood yesterday to heal, so we’ll need to find something tonight.
“What I wouldn’t give to come across some humans,” Henry whines.
I sweep my arms around, gesturing as if our level ofremoteness wasn’t obvious. “I think you’re fresh out of luck on that front.”
“I think I could stomach more goat if that’s the only option. Although let's not sacrifice any more, I’m not a fan of drinking from their bones,” Red adds.
I stride on, leaving my companions to torture themselves with discussing their favourite blood types. I start looking for clues, any hint that we’re in the correct place, but I come up short. Maybe they’re not on this island anymore after all. Their location isn’t fully disclosed, but I’d heard whispers, read the speculations online as to which of the two hundred plus islands in this archipelago they resided on.
We continue climbing, passing through another mountain pass, and deep into the valley. Still, I see no trace.
And sadly for Red and Henry, no prey either.
It's almost dark by the time I stop pushing for us to continue and start contemplating where we can sleep. There’s a woodland in the distance, we might be able to shelter amongst the trees for the night. The skies are clear so I doubt it’ll snow.
