Page 47 of Those That Are Lost
I thought after my conversation with Henry I’d let some of my demons go but I feel the crashing weight of them once more. The voices in my head start arguing over whether I should seek Ty out, or just leave the village and run. They getso loud my breathing picks up once more and I have to grit my jaw to ensure I don’t drop into that whirlpool of fear once more.
Shut up, shut up, SHUT UP!
I scream inside my own mind until the voices heed the command.
By the time the first buildings come into view, my head is entirely silent. It’s like my brain has shut down. It’s the only way to stop the intrusive thoughts, the ones I know are bad. If I don’t think at all, then I can’t think about those either.
It's peaceful. Welcoming. I sink into it.
CHAPTER 22
TY
Ihear the door as I finish showering. Turning off the water, I step out and grab a towel to wipe the excess water off my chest and wrap it around my hips.
There’s silence coming from the bedroom.
Taking a deep breath, and rubbing my jaw, I step out of the ensuite. Her eyes snap to mine from where she’s perched on the bed. Her face is vacant, her eyes duller than I’ve ever seen.
“Red, are you okay?” I can’t help myself. Any resolve I have when I’m alone is non-existent as soon as I’m in her presence again.
“Yeah,” she replies. “I’m fine.” She sounds exhausted, her voice utterly flat. I watch as she begins removing her clothes. She strips down until she’s in her underwear, meticulously folding her workout gear as she goes.Something’s not right.
Without another word, she moves around me and into the bathroom. She’s moving like a ghost. I’d put it down to the panic attack but when I left, she was more animated than this. Her and Henry were chatting. She’d sounded hoarse from all the screaming but wasn’t like this.
I don’t even ask her permission, just follow her into the adjoining room.
“What happened?” I need to know.
I’m not even sure she hears me as I watch her at the sink. She swipes the condensation off the mirror on the wall, then stands lifelessly staring at her reflection, fingers gripping the porcelain. For a moment I think she’s going to use her magic, put a shield in place. I see a ripple of her power but it recedes without changing any of her features.
“Red, please. Talk to me.” I push.
“I said I’m fine,” she snaps, false lightness in her tone. “I’m just tired and sweaty.”
“You are not fine.” I keep my voice soft although I am anything but.
She ignores me again and removes her underwear before moving into the walk-in shower. I stand there at a loss. I feel like I should leave but she hasn’t asked me to go. Turning the water on, she stands facing the shower head, letting the spray hit her body. She’s not two metres from me but she feels miles away, reminding me of the day I found her on the cliff.
I take in her body, my eyes sweeping up her long legs to the curve of her ass. Her flawless skin covering muscle and flesh I crave to touch. I want to wrap her up and keep her safe. Take her away from whatever is plaguing her right now.
The shadows build behind me, for once they’re not trying to draw me into them but rather I feel their caress as more of a push.
I brace myself against them, holding strong but by a thread.
Red wipes the water from her face as she steps back slightly. Turning her head just enough to catch me in her peripheral vision. Even with just the corner of her eye, I see the pain. It's a stab straight to my chest and that thread snaps.
I whip the towel off and am back in the shower in a blink.Pulling her against me, I wrap my arms around her torso as I breathe in her scent.
“I’ve got you,” I whisper into her hair, bowing my head into the soft tendrils. I shouldn’t be the one doing this, I’m the one who caused her pain today. How she’s trusting me to be this close I don’t know.
She leans her head back onto my pecs, she’s so much smaller than I am and at this moment she feels tiny against me. Precious. Breakable.
Seeing her this vulnerable makes something in my chest snarl. I love this female with my entire being. I don’t deserve her but that doesn’t stop my feelings towards her. I’ll do anything to take her pain away. Anything.
“Do you want me to wash you?” I ask her, needing to do something. She gives the smallest of nods.
Keeping our skin connected in one way or another, whether my hands are on her, or she’s leaning into me, I manage to get the soap and lather it up to wash her body. I take my time and go slowly, giving her the opportunity to stop my hands at any time. She doesn’t, even as I wash her breasts, her pubic mound, her ass.
