Page 29 of Those That Don't Exist
“Are dead! Along with the pack. I couldn’t save them, even after being turned.” Those memories try to escape the coffin I’ve locked them in. My fangs grate against my lower jaw as I fight them.
“We couldn’t,” he corrects me, “and the guilt isn’t solely on you. I was here with them when the attack came.” He pauses to swallow. His next sentence comes out a little thick in his rich voice. “They wouldn’t want us to shoulder any blame, they wanted us to live. What happened wasn’t our fault. You could be running this place a hundred times better than how it's being run right now.”
His words cut like a knife into my flesh. I’d locked these thoughts down long ago, which is partly why I’ve been avoiding him. He’s never been one to suppress his feelings.
“No, I couldn’t,” is the only response I can give as I wage battle in my head.
I hear him drop the subject with another sigh.
“Fine. Come on, I bet I can still cause a bigger wave than you from the cliff.”
And just like that he slips back into being my old friend. I manage to clear my head, shoving it back into its prison.
We spend the next hour dive-bombing off the rocks into the water. Messing around like we used to when we were kids, before the world went to pieces.
We’re walking back a while later, still a fair trek from the house, when Atlas brings up the other touchy subject.
“You know, if the female you’re watching does turn out to be one of us, what’s the deal?”
“What do you mean?” I can tell he’s baiting me, there’s something he knows.
“Well, if she joins the pack what’s the deal?” he asks innocently.
“You know full well that if she joins, Adicious will manipulate her, or force her, to be his mate,” I grind out.
“Yep, I’ve already been told as much. Just wanted your opinion.”
“I told you a fact.”
“And if you’d said it without the venom in your voice, I’d have slapped you round the head,” he laughs, clapping me on the shoulder, making me tense.
“What?” I say, stopping.
“Well, either you don’t want Adicious to get a mate, which would strengthen his power over us, or you have an issue with the particular mate he has in mind. I personally hope it's both,” he says, plastering on a grin which I immediately want to punch off his stupid face.
“You’re going to get yourself killed.”
“Nah, I’ve survived this long. I can keep as good of a poker face as the rest. If you hadn’t noticed there are a few guys living in that house who could rinse a casino.” I wasn’t blind but I didn’t really interact with many of the guys much. Clearly in his short time here Atlas was making a lot of friends, and probably some enemies.
“We’re bound Atlas,” I remind him, and start walking again, done with this conversation.
“For now,” he says, before quickly adding, “now shut up, the hot headed one’s sidekicks are hunting deer in the forest and they’re heading this way.” He means Cairn and Trip, Ronan’slittle besties, or at least the ones Adicious lets tag along with him when he goes on his scouting missions.
We slip back into casual conversation as we skirt the forest back to the main house. I stay engaged in it but my brain can’t stop thinking about Red and the stuff Atlas has so conveniently let loose in my head. Technically a blood bond wouldn't stop me from making a mate bond, but I am bound to Adicious’s will. He wouldn’t allow any of us the luxury of a mate if he didn’t have one. Not when it's much rarer these days, a mate bond pretty much signifies who heads the packs now.
It doesn’t stop the dark, twisted fantasy taking shape a little more in the back of my brain. It’s getting sharper with each passing day. Wanting Red is dangerous enough but wanting her and wanting to reclaim these lands - I must be far more suicidal than I thought.
CHAPTER 13
AURORA
It's been two days since the party. Two days since I argued with my best friend and hurt her brother.
Everyone thinks I was the one to shove David hard enough he hit his head, that I flipped out over him trying to kiss me.
For lack of a better story I’m going along with it, lying to protect the stalker who has haunted me since my return to university - the guy I’ve had one brief, and very confusing, conversation with.
It's madness. It must be.
