Page 78 of Unrelenting
“It’s not bullshit, Lucia.” How can I make her understand? “It’s how the world works.”
She gets to her feet and grabs her t-shirt from the floor. “It’s howyourworld works.” She slips the white t-shirt on over her head. “And I want no part of it.”
“I know, Lucia, but I have to do something about Rossini. He hurt you.”
“That’s right, Lorenzo. He hurt me, not you.”
“It’s the same thing. You’re a part of me now. You’re mine.”
She shakes her head. “Not anymore. I want you out of here.”
I reach out for her but she backs away. “You’re upset,gattina. Let me take care of you.”
Lucia scoffs. “You think I’m being emotional, right? That I need you to step in and take charge until I feel more myself again?”
“No, I think you need some support and it’s my job to give it to you.”
“I don’t need your support, Lorenzo.” Lucia breathes in and out slowly. “I need you to leave. This thing between us is never going to work.”
“Of course it will.” I step closer and she backs away again. “It does.”
“No, it doesn’t. I’ve had a shitty day, Lorenzo. First, I had some Russian gangster in my home, then I was attacked and my restaurant firebombed and your first thought is to commit more violence.”
“My first thought was to protect you.”
Her expression hardens and my heart sinks. I’m losing her and I have no idea how to turn this situation around.
“I want you to leave, Lorenzo. We’re finished.” She turns and walks to the door to her bathroom. “I’m going to take a shower. Be gone by the time I get out.”
As she disappears into the bathroom and locks the door, I feel completely helpless. I want to kick the door down, drag her back to bed and imprison her there until she realizes where she belongs. I don’t because even I’m not that big of an asshole.
Instead, I decide to do as she asked. I dress quickly, wanting to be gone by the time she emerges from the bathroom. I’ll leaveher alone for now but if she thinks I’ll give up on her this easily, she really doesn’t know me at all.
TWENTY-THREE
Lucia
According to the box,these tests are ninety-nine percent accurate. The result is clearly displayed and totally unambiguous, but I still can’t believe what I’m seeing. I’m pregnant.
Though I’ve been feeling unusually tired for a few weeks now, I didn’t suspect pregnancy could be the cause until I started throwing up. I have no idea how this happened since I’m on birth control. Perhaps Lorenzo has some sort of super sperm.
As I think about him, a weight presses on my chest. I miss him more than I ever thought possible. I was unfair to him the last time I saw him, but I haven’t tried to make things right with him yet. Before I could do that, I had to come to terms with everything that happened and my feelings about his involvement with the Mafia.
What happened with Adriano shocked me to the core but it also demonstrated that he and Lorenzo are poles apart. While they both come from the same violent world, Adriano is a coward who strikes against people who’re unable to defendthemselves against his brute force. He’s self-centered and spoiled.
Lorenzo, on the other hand, is focused, deliberate in his actions. He does what’s necessary to protect his businesses and the people he loves.
It's taken me more than a month to sort through my feelings and decide what I want but now I fear it’s too late.
At first, after I told him it was over between us, Lorenzo came to the apartment every morning, leaving coffee and my favorite pastries on the doorstep. Sometimes there would be a box of Swiss chocolates or a bouquet of flowers as well. He sent me texts every day, short messages telling me he loved me and missed me. He never once tried to see me face to face, though I imagine he hoped one day I would open the door when he delivered my breakfast.
Three days ago he stopped coming and I can’t say I blame him. I’ve given him no reason to think there was still a chance for us. Now I’m not sure he wants me anymore but I have to speak to him. He needs to know about the baby. Even if he decides there’s no future for us, he deserves the chance to be a father.
Lorenzo is not the only thing I have to face. Putting on my coat, I grab my purse and head outside. I haven’t been to Gianetta’s since it burned down. Every member of my staff has been to visit me at the apartment and they’ve all urged me to go and look, to get closure. So that’s what I’m going to do.
Though it’s been weeks since I walked the route across the Ponte Vecchio and along the narrow streets to the restaurant, it’s achingly familiar.
As I approach the building, now surrounded by wire fences to keep people out, my heart lurches. Tears stream down my face and for several minutes, I let them. Then I take a deep breath and remind myself it’s only bricks and mortar. It can be rebuiltand when the insurance money comes through that’s just what I’ll do.
