Page 75 of Just Imagine
He cupped her knees to prod a reaction from her, but even then she didn’t fight him. He pushed her legs apart and shifted his weight to kneel between them. Then he looked down at the secret part of her, bathed in lamplight.
She lay still as he separated the dark, silken threads with his fingers. His wild rose of the deep wood. Petals within petals. Protectively folded around the heart of her. His stomach knotted at the sight. He knew from the afternoon at the pond how small she was, how tight. He was flooded with a damning sense of tenderness.
From the corner of his eye he saw one delicate hand curl into a fist on the counterpane. He waited for her to swing at him, to fight him for what he was doing. Wished for it to happen. But she didn’t move, and her very defenselessness undid him.
With a groan, he lay down and pulled her into his arms. She was trembling. Guilt as powerful as his desire ate at him. He’d never treated a woman so callously. This was part of the madness that had claimed him. “I’m sorry,” he whispered.
He held her against his bare chest and stroked the damp locks of her hair. As he soothed her, his own desire raged, but he didn’t give in to it, not until her trembling finally stopped.
Cain’s arm felt solid and ironically comforting around her. She heard his breathing slow, but she knew he wasn’t asleep, no more than she was. Moonlight silvered the quiet room, and she felt a strange sense of calm. Something about the quiet, something about the hell they’d been through and the hell that no doubt lay ahead, made questions possible.
“Why do you hate me so much? Even before the cotton mill. From the day I came back to Risen Glory.”
He was quiet for a moment. Then he answered her. “I never hated you.”
“I was destined to hate whoever inherited Risen Glory,” she said.
“It always comes back to Risen Glory, doesn’t it? Do you love this plantation so much?”
“More than anything. Risen Glory is all I’ve ever had. Without it, I’m not anything.”
He brushed away a lock of hair that had fallen over her cheek. “You’re a beautiful woman, and you have courage.”
“How can you say that after what I did?”
“I guess we all do what we have to.”
“Like forcing this marriage on me?”
“Like that.” He was still for a moment. “I’m not sorry, Kit. No more than you are.”
Her tension returned. “Why didn’t you go ahead and do what you were going to? I wouldn’t have stopped you.”
“Because I want you willing. Willing and as hungry for me as I am for you.”
She was too conscious of their nudity, and she turned away from him. “That won’t ever happen.”
She expected him to get angry. Instead, he propped himself up on the pillows and gazed down at her without attempting to touch her. “You have a passionate nature. I’ve tasted it in your kisses. Don’t be afraid of it.”
“I don’t want a passionate nature. It’s wrong for a woman.”
“Who told you that?”
“Everybody knows it. When Mrs. Templeton talked to us about Eve’s Shame, said that—”
“Eve’s what?”
“Eve’s Shame. You know.”
“Good God.” He sat up in bed. “Kit, do you know exactly what happens between a man and a woman?”
“I’ve seen horses.”
“Horses aren’t humans.” He put his hands on her shoulders and turned her toward him. “Look at me. Even though you hate me, we’re married now, and there’s no way I’m keeping my hands off you. But I want you to know what’s happening between us. I don’t want to scare you again.”
Patiently, in language that was simple and direct, he told her about her own body and about his. And then he told her what happened when they were joined. When he was done, he got out of bed and walked naked over to the table where he picked up his brandy glass. Then he turned and stood quietly, letting her satisfy the curiosity she wouldn’t confess to.
Kit’s eyes drank in his body, so clearly illuminated in the moon-drenched room. She saw beauty of a kind she’d never before witnessed, a beauty that was lean and muscular, that spoke of strength and hardness and things she didn’t entirely understand. Her eyes went to the center of him. He quickened under her gaze, and her apprehension returned.
