Page 31 of Polar Fates
I open my barriers a little, letting herin.
Are you okay?she asks, her mental voicewavering.
She’s so concerned. I’ve told her many times that she’s too compassionate, too weak, but right now, I’m almost grateful for her sympathy. She’s seen Arcas in my memories, she knows him at least a little. She will understand more than theothers.
What would you do?I ask her, but I think I know the answer already. She doesn’t have any children yet, but she’s a women. It’s in herblood.
I’d let them die,she whispers.I’d never let my son be killed if I could help it. I’d die for him. And I’ll be with you, no matter what you decide todo.
Even if that means you’ll never have children of yourown?
She chuckles sadly.You think I’d sacrifice Arcas for hypothetical children I might neverhave?
No, I’d never think that, and she knows it. I’m just trying to show that she’s one of them, that I can hate her, hate them all, blame them all, kill themall.
My feral side is bubbling to the surface and I’m having a hard time reigning it in. Just because I’m a bear doesn’t mean I need to behave like a beast. It was Arcas, actually, who helped me with that. After I’d been turned and adjusted to having four paws instead of hands, I went on a bit of a wild rampage. I enjoyed the freedom I suddenly had. I wasn’t a nice person... bear. I let myself go. Until I gave birth to Arcas and suddenly had someone to care for. He showed me that bears aren’t violent and angry. They can be mothers, gentle and protective. Holding him in my arms was the best thing I everdid.
Then he died and I thought I never would. But maybe there’s still hope. I might yet get to see him again. Smell his scent. Lick hisfur.
I claw the floor in frustration. The Fates are watching me, almost as if they’re bored. The four men seem more concerned, but they’re staying back, knowing that I’m unpredictable in myrage.
“You could try and persuade Van Deen to willingly separate himself from the bear,” Lachesis answers Torben’s question, which I had almost forgotten about. “But that’s very unlikely. He’s one of the most selfish and power-hungry men I’ve everseen.”
I roar in anger. That man is going to die. Slowly. I imagine carving up his body until his entrails fall out onto the ground. Then ripping out his throat, watching as he drowns in his ownblood.
He has done so much harm. To my son, to all those women he raped, to the people he brainwashed, to his own children. I can’t believe I didn’t know about it. Before I merged with Isla, I watched the bear shifters, but I never imagined to look for one who was a human originally. If I ever saw one of his shifter children, I may have just assumed it was one of the original shifter families who’d movedaway.
But whatnow?
I growl. It helps with venting my frustration, but nothing more. Standing here, clawing the floor, won’t do anygood.
Lachesis said we could try and persuade him. Maybe we can trick him somehow. Bribe him. Threatenhim.
But I know the chances of succeeding are miniscule. We’d need an extraordinary amount ofluck.
Alis, can we shift back?Isla asks hesitantly.I’d like to talk to theguys.
I shake my fur, relishing in the movement. I like being a bear. It’s freeing, despite my size. But Isla has a point, she won’t be able to talk while we’re shifted, and she seems to be better at doing the whole diplomacy thing. Maybe the Fates will be more likely to help her than they wouldme.
I’m not sure I still have a thread they can manipulate. Maybe that’s why they don’t seem to like me much. The way Atropos is looking at me... but then, she was just as impolite to Isla, and my girl is one of the nicest humans I know. No-longer-humans, Imean.
With a sigh, I let go of my bear form and let Isla take over. She does it with practice and elegance and even manages to look confident when she notices that the robe she was wearing is now lying in pieces on thefloor.
Sorry, I mutter, and she gives me a mental smile inreturn.
“Arcas is not going to die,” she tells the Fates and her men, and I breathe a sigh of relief. Goodgirl.
“But I imagine he may choose to do so, if he learns what his death coulddo.”
No! What are you doing, Isla?I shout ather.
“I’m wanting to give him a choice,” she says aloud. “If it was me, I’d gladly die to save the bear shifters. I’m one of you now and I care about you. I don’t want bear shifters to stop existing... it would be a very sad world withoutthem.”
I wonder what Arcas would decide. I’ve not seen him in so long... the young man I knew would sacrifice himself without a second’s thought. He was so selfless... Isla reminds me of him. But maybe he’s changed. He’s been a prisoner of Van Deen for over a hundred years now. That must have had some sort of effect on him. Maybe he’s become like his abuser? Stockholm effect? Or maybe he’s filled with hate for all bear shifters, unable to distinguish between the good and thebad?
Oh my Arcas. I wish I could have protected you. I wish I’d known that you weren’t dead. I’d turn heaven and Earth just to get you back. I would have gone to Zeus, to other Gods, begged them to give you back tome.
But now it’s too late and I’m terribly afraid for you. For me. For all ofus.
