Page 2 of Winter Queen
This time, he doesn’t move when I approach him. He’s frozen in shock, or maybe because he’ll get burnt if he even takes a single step in any direction. Finally, I get to reach for his horn and touch it – at the same time as the flames take hold of my sleeve and begin to eat it up.
Bliss and happiness fill the emptiness inside of me, mixed with a pain that I can’t quite place. Usually there’s no pain when I go into the beautiful world of sparklies. Maybe this will be a new, good experience? Sometimes there’s pleasure in pain.
I sink to the ground, my mind slowly retreating and becoming slow. Calm. Non-existent.
The pain is still there though and it’s preventing me from letting go completely. It’s getting stronger.
I curl up into a ball, thinking that might make the pain go away. Sometimes hiding from the world works. Not this time, though.
The bliss is pushed away and more pain crashes into me. I scream in agony.
I could open my eyes to see what’s causing it, but the sparklies won’t let me. They’re still inside of me, but while they usually make me happy, today they seem to increase the pain.
It’s getting worse and worse and I can’t stop screaming.
There’s another scream, an echo perhaps, maybe someone else. I dimly remember Blaze being there. Maybe he’s screaming to make fun of me?
“What the fuck is going on here – oh no, Wyn!”
Voices, curses, shouting.
I’m thrown into a pool of water. No, water is thrown on me. Or both? It’s hard to tell. At least it makes my mind a little clearer. Enough to know that the voice talking rapidly in the background is Frost.
A moment later, I wish my head wasn’t clearing. Red hot pain flares up in my right arm, all the way up to my shoulder and neck. It hurts so much, please, make it stop. I whimper and someone grips my left hand and squeezes it reassuringly.
“Shush, Crispin will be here soon,” Frost whispers and more water runs over me, cooling my hot skin a little. “What did you do to yourself, Wyn? No, don’t try to move. Blaze is getting Crispin, they won’t be long.”
I’m having trouble keeping up with what he’s saying. Crispin? Why do I need Crispin? Oh, the pain, maybe because of that? Crispin heals, maybe he can heal me. The pain in my body and in my mind. And then I can get some more sparklies from Blaze to make me forget about it all.
The water that’s been running over my skin disappears and immediately, the pain gets worse.
“Don’t stop,” I whimper hoarsely.
“Okay, but let me know if you get cold.”
The water returns and cools my burning skin. It doesn’t make the pain go away, but it softens it slightly. It gives me another sensation to focus on, one that’s cooler and nicer than the aches.
“Frost,” I whisper.
“Yes, Wyn?”
“It hurts.”
I think about what I just said for a moment, then I add, “I don’t want to whine.”
He chuckles sadly. “Whine as much as you want. It’s better than keeping up that façade you’ve been showing us. Let it all out.”
“What?” I’m confused. My mind is still muddled with both the pain and the sparklies.
“You’re grieving. You need to let us in, Wyn, or it’s going to eat you up from the inside.”
“The pain is outside,” I mutter, noticing how it seems to be getting worse. The water is no longer taking the edge off like it did before.
“Now, yes, but that’s not what I’m talking about.” He gently strokes my face but I’m not sure I like the feeling. It’s too close, too intense.
“Let’s have this conversation when you’re better. Crispin will be here soon, and he’ll make you feel better. Then we can go back to the Palace and you can rest.”
“Sleep sounds good,” I croak, “but without the pain.”
