Page 31 of Winter Queen
I stand up and put my hands on my hips, looking at him angrily.
“Listen to me. I read it. Yes, it was painful to read. Yes, I felt sorry for you. Yes, I still feel guilty for making you write this. But you know what? It didn’t change anything about what you are to me. What I feel for you. Nothing can change that, and you know why? Because you’re in here.” I point at my chest, right where my heart is pounding hard. “And I’m in there.” I touch his chest, feeling his own heartbeat. It’s faster than mine.
“Now stop being like that and come back to me. I need you. No matter what you tell yourself, you’re mine, and you always will be.” I smile to soften my words a little. “You’re my Crispy.”
He chuckles bitterly. “I don’t understand you. How can you say things like that after reading what I did? About what she did to me? I’m tainted, Wyn, and I’ll never be whole. I’m not like the others. They can give themselves to you with all their heart, but I don’t have much of my heart left. She took it from me, she made me erase my humanity. And I know that I could become like that again, if she was to capture me. I’d do the same things again. I’d kill. I’d torture. I’d climb into her bed if she commanded me to. Can you really love someone like that? A monster?”
He's sat up while he was speaking and tears are shining in his eyes, reflecting the moonlight.
I go on my knees and take his hands in mine, squeezing them hard. “You’re not a monster. And that bitch is never going to get her hands on you again. I’ll kill her before she even gets close to you. You’re free of her, Crispin. You’re no longer alone. You have me, and the guys. You don’t have to fight your demons alone.”
He looks down at me and a tear slides down his cheek.
“Even if the demons are real?”
I smile and squeeze his hands again. “Even then. Especially then. Real demons can be killed. We’ll deal with her and then you’ll be free.”
Finally, he gives me a tiny smile and wipes away his tears.
“You really are a Princess, Wyn. No, you’re a Queen.”
Chapter Ten
When I wake up this time, all four of my Guardians are in the same bed with me. Crispin joined us after our talk in the garden, and the others made space for him without saying a word. It almost feels like before it all came to pieces.
Today, I’m going to meet an enemy for the first time. A political one, that is, I’m not counting all the demons we slayed. Those were enemies on an entirely different level. For them, it was a hack and slash tactic. For Flora, I need to use a different method.
First though, I want to hear what she has to say. Maybe there’s a reason why the Morrigan killed the Spring Goddess’s husband. That would make it easy to get her on our side. I can promise her that we’ll bring the Morrigan to justice – something Angus probably hasn’t been able to give Flora.
I’m going to meet a lot of Gods in the next few days. Flora today, then several of the neutral Gods tomorrow. Tamara insisted that we throw a party for them; she says that’s the only way to make sure that they’ll all attend. She’s also invited some of the Gods we know are on our side, in the hope that they’ll help persuade the neutral ones that we’re the good guys.
I can’t imagine why anybody would fight on the Morrigan’s side. She’s evil through and through, and she doesn’t care about others. She’s only interested in her own power.
And Angus… well, I’m told that most Gods supporting him do so out of habit. They were either created by him or have been his allies for centuries or longer. For them, it might look like just another war between Angus and Beira, and not like the fate of the Winter Realm is at stake. If either Angus or the Morrigan were to seize my mother and her power, it would result in chaos. The balance needs to be upheld, no matter the cost.
I grimace. Look at me, making pompous statements like that. I really am turning into a Princess. A Princess with a lot of responsibilities.
I should really get up and start on my to-do list. I’ve only set foot into my mother’s office once, and I know that a lot of tasks are waiting there for me. Things to sign, letters to reply to, budgets to approve. I think Tamara is dealing with most of the minor issues, but sometimes, a Royal signature is needed. I have no idea how she does it all. Tamara is a force of nature.
I yawn loudly to show the guys that it’s time to start the day. An arm snakes around my waist and pulls me close. Storm.
“We need to get up,” I protest, but he simply presses me against his warm body and wraps his other arm around me.
“Just making sure you’re okay,” he mutters with a sleepy voice.
“I’m fine, why are you doubting that?”
Frost chuckles. “It’s his excuse to hold you. I think I need to check on you next.”
“Guys, I don’t have time for this,” I sigh, although my body is very much protesting against my words. I want to have them all close, touching me.
“Can we do this in a circle while standing?” I suggest. “That’s quicker.”
“Do you mean us standing and you on your knees?” Storm whispers into my ear and I feel my cheeks flush.
“No, I mean a hugging circle. Just hugging. Friendly hugging. As friends. You know, without any sexual bits that take time.”
The guys roar in laughter.
