Page 2 of Winter Goddess
As soon as she's out of the door, I make my magic close the door. I may intentionally have put too much force into it, so it slams shut with a bang. Oops. Well, nobody will dare tell me off. Even if I'm not the Queen, people have started treating me as such, even the Council members. It's annoying.
I sign two more papers that someone, probably Mara, put in my in-tray, then leave my office to head to the Royal Quarters. Two days ago, my father was released from the hospital wing to recover in a more comfortable environment. Physically, he's mostly healed, but not so much mentally. Both my mum's death and his imprisonment have left their traces on him. He's not the man I remember. He was always an emotional person, but now he's on the verge of tears pretty much whenever I see him. I envy him that he's allowed to show his emotions so openly. I have to keep up the facade so that my subjects don't see how I'm feeling inside. How broken I am.
Two guards are standing in front of the doors leading to my father's new rooms. They bow deeply when they see me approach and open the double doors for me. At least they're not calling me 'Queen' like some of the other guards recently. I had to threaten them with demotion if they ever do that again. It's treason.
My father is still in bed, his form only a small bulge under the sheets. He's lost a lot of weight during his imprisonment, and despite the cooks making all his favourite dishes, he's not eating much. I think he's lost the will to continue going on like before. He doesn't look after himself either; his beard is a shaggy mess, so different from the clean-shaven father I was used to. I'll tell one of the barbers to visit him. Maybe it's just because he's been too weak to shave himself.
"Dad, how are you?"
He's awake, staring at the ceiling. My heart begins to ache at the pitiful sight of him. This isn't supposed to be like that. He was always a role model for me, even despite his ditziness.
"Dad?" I ask again, sitting down on the edge of the bed.
He doesn't react, just keeps staring up. I take a quick look myself to see if there's anything special up there, but no, it's just a normal, boring ceiling. There are not even any of the floating lights there.
"Is there anything I can do for you?" I ask softly, taking his hands in mine. Finally, he seems to realise that I'm here.
"Wyn?"
"Yup, as I live and breathe."
He doesn't smile, at least his aura doesn't show any trace of humour.
"Was it a nightmare?" he asks slowly.
My heart hurts even more at the false hope in his voice. "No, dad, it wasn't. She's gone."
"She was so brave," he mutters. "So very brave. Just like you."
I cringe. "I'm not brave. If I was, I'd already be in the Morrigan's castle, making her pay for what she did. But no, I ran like a coward."
He sits up a little and I help him by pushing a pillow under his back.
"You had people to protect. Sometimes, not staying to fight is braver than taking up arms."
I stare at him. "When did you become a philosopher?"
He grimaces. "Always been one. I've just never had a chance to talk about battles and courage before. I wish I didn't have to now."
"Me too," I sigh. "The world has become very strange. Some days, I just want to go back to Earth and live my human life again."
"No," he says, his voice a little stronger now. "You belong here. This is your world, Wyn. Our life has never been enough for you. You're destined to be something bigger than us, and I think you know that. Look at yourself, look at how they treat you. You're special, darling."
I shake my head. "I wish I wasn't."
"We all want to be someone we're not," he says, his voice sounding as if he's smiling. I wish I could see his face properly. "I don't want to be a widower. I don't want to be a victim of the Morrigan. But you know what? I'm proud to be the father of a Goddess."
His aura is sparkling with pride. I want to tell him that I'm not a proper Goddess, that I'm nothing to be proud of, but I don't want to extinguish that spark.
"If you're feeling up to it, I can introduce you to the Court," I say instead, taking advantage of him being more energetic than he usually is. "They're all very curious about the human who raised me."
"Oh no, I don't think that's something for me. Your mother would have loved it, I'm sure, but I'd rather stay here, if you don't mind. I'm not made for crowds."
I smile. "Yes, I'd rather stay here too, if I'm honest. Part of the job though." I sigh. "I should get back. There's a Council meeting later on that I need to prepare for. I think it's going to be a long one."
"I'm not envying you. Although that Tamara woman seems very capable."
"Mara has been here?"
