Page 24 of Winter Goddess
In and out. It's a balance that cannot be disturbed. We need to breathe the air in as much as we need to breathe it back out. It's a constant cycle, as steady as the seasons. There cannot be summer without winter.
Slowly, my awareness widens and I feel the magic around me in a different way. It's pulsing, moving in patterns that I hadn't recognised before. Swirls, knots and parallel lines. There's a message in the patterns, a simple warning that reverberates throughout everybody's lifeforce.
Preserve.
The magic is only a small part of a bigger picture though. I expand my senses further until I reach the underlying forces that feed the magic. Life and death. Yet another balance, but this one is tainted. It's hurting and wanting me to help it, but I don't know how. There's more death than life, and it's changing rapidly. With the upcoming battle, this imbalance is only going to get worse. We need more life so that the balance is restored, but how's that supposed to be achieved? I can't just tell everyone to get more babies? No, we need to do it the other way round. Prevent more deaths.
I float further away, towards the circle of seasons. They're based on life and death, and yet they are so much more. Winter isn't just death, it's also renewal, preservation, recovery. Summer is life and decay, beauty and droughts. Then there's autumn and spring, times of change and transition. Again, there's death and life in both of them. Only when all four are put together can life thrive. I'd never seen it so clearly, but now I know deep in my heart what others have been trying to tell me. Winter needs to be strong to match the power of the summer. It's not a matter of weakening summer, no, that would go against the balance. It's about putting all of them on equal footing.
I let myself fall into the magic, soaking up the feeling of anguish that's streaming from the imbalance. Cracks are already appearing in the fabric of life, and I know that if nothing is done, magic will start to be drawn out of the tears into nothingness. We'll be left powerless, all of us, no matter which Realm we live in. There won't be magic, and without magic, there's no life and death. Images flash into my mind. Babies crying, blood dripping from never-closing wounds, lovers torn apart. Forests burning, lakes drying up, harvests too small to feed families. The world is hurting and nobody is doing anything about it. In contrary, we’re making it worse.
Help is needed, and help will come. "I'll make this right," I promise. "The balance will be restored."
A feeling of gratefulness spreads within me, and I know it isn’t my own emotion. More images are thrown into my mind, but these are different. They’re hope.
I openmy eyes and close them again right away, blinded by the sun. How is there so much daylight already?
“Are you awake again?” Crispin asks sleepily. He’s sat against the battlement, watching me.
“How long was I… away?”
“Must have been at least three hours. Your breathing became really slow, I was worried for a bit. It was like you went into a coma, but then you stabilised.”
I swallow hard. Three hours. “We better get back, I’m sure the others are missing us already.”
“The sunrise was beautiful,” Crispin says softly, his aura turning a little blue in the centre. “I wonder how many more of them we’ll be able to see.”
I get up and walk over to him, holding out a hand. “An eternity. We won’t let ourselves be defeated, and we’ll send the Morrigan back into the dark hole she crawled out of. This isn’t the end, Crispy. It’s only the beginning of our life together.”
He looks up at me and for a moment, I get to see his eyes, a flash of emotion that makes me stumble. Then his aura covers his face again and I’m left breathing hard at the adoration I saw in his gaze.
“I love it when you call me Crispy,” he chuckles. “But don’t tell the others that.”
I laugh. “I’ll take it to the grave. No, let me rephrase that. I’ll keep it a secret for eternity.”
"You better. I don't think my enemies will cower in fear when they hear that you call me Crispy."
"Do they actually cower in fear?"
He shrugs. "You never know. Those clones might actually help in getting me a fearsome reputation." His aura darkens a little. "Again."
To distract him, I grip his hands and pull him up, using a bit of magic to give me enough strength. He's the least bulky of the four of them, but that doesn't mean he's small. Or light. "We should return to the others. Crispy."
"I know." He sighs. "I wish we could just stay up here and enjoy the sunshine together."
"After all this is over, I'm going to take a month off and spend it with all of you," I promise. "The Realm will just have to look after itself."
The darkness in his aura disappears. "We could travel the Realms," he says full of enthusiasm. "I could show you some amazing places."
"It's good to have something to look forward to. We'll get there, eventually. Only one idiot God and one evil bitch to defeat. How hard could that be."
* * *
Of course,nobody has seen fake Crispin and Flora. It would have surprised me; the Morrigan is far too clever for that. They're probably in her Realm by now, the Spring Goddess a prisoner or worse.
"We need to bring her back," Gwain says gravely, his hand gripping the hilt of his sword. "We failed in protecting her."
He and Tamara are standing in front of my desk, both looking grim and exhausted.
