Page 26 of Within the Flames
"Flint?" she whispered, her voice cracking as it returned to normal.
"Shh, I'm here, Macey. I'm real and I've got you."
She nodded and collapsed into his arms, the anger giving way into tears. The fires within her died down, along with the anger and grief. There was no need for them now. She sunk to her knees once more, still wrapped up in Flint's arms.
"I've got you, Macey. You're safe." He stroked her hair as he continued to whisper, giving her the comfort she needed.
* * *
She was huddledup on the sofa, a blanket wrapped around her shoulders while a healer worked on her hands. Flint was by her side, hugging her close. Her hands hurt like hell, but the pain within her mind was much worse. She wasn't sure what to believe anymore. Flint was real, safe, healthy - wasn't he? Was this just an illusion, like the fiery visions in the tunnel of fire?
Macey was beginning to think that the flames she'd carried hadn't just hurt her hands. They'd also seared her mind, breaking open doubts and wounds she hadn't known she carried.
After the healer left, they sat in silence, both lost in thought.
"How did I wield fire?" she suddenly asked, surprising both herself and Flint. Besides the healer, they were alone in the living room. Malan had made sure of that.
"Maybe you still had some of the lampad's flames left over?"
She shook her head. "No, it was all gone. I would have felt it."
He was silent for a moment and Macey was beginning to think that he didn't have any answers either, but then he cleared his throat, hugging her even tighter.
"You know how you have markings of all seven elements?" he said quietly. "Maybe it's not just because you're connected to us. Maybe it's because you're supposed to wield all of them."
"All of them?" she repeated weakly. "How is that supposed to work? Sometimes it's hard enough to control my water magic, and Air stays quiet most of the time as well. I can't imagine having five other elements to deal with."
She shuddered at the thought. She didn't want to be special. She wanted to be just one of the Seven Wardens, no different from any of them. They didn't need a leader or someone who was more powerful than the others. No, she just wanted to stay as she was.
"Maybe I'm wrong," Flint said soothingly, probably realising how much the thought upset Macey. "It's just a theory that's been playing in my mind for awhile. You're the only one of us who's got markings. It must mean something."
"Or maybe it's just a cruel trick of nature," Macey muttered bitterly. "Just another trick or test. It's getting too much, Flint. I'm not sure how much longer I can keep doing this. Fighting impossible quests. Following vague hints. Protecting the people I love. Some days I just want to lie down and give up."
"We all do," Flint whispered. "Life isn't fair. Why can't we just be like ordinary people, not having to worry about saving the world. But we've been given this task and there's nobody else to do it. At least we're together, all of us. We've got allies, we've got friends." He chuckled softly. "Even a rogue selkie. You're at the centre of our team, Macey, and you deserve to be there. You're strong, even though you might not always feel that way."
The bitterness in her disagreed with that. She wasn't special, she wasn't strong. She was just an ordinary loch kelpie, forced to deal with things that were way out of her control.
"Once this is over, we need a holiday. Somewhere far, far away from any trouble. Just the five of us, no prophets, no monsters, no quests. I'm so tired of it all."
He kissed her cheek. "Promise."
They saton the sofa for what felt like hours. After thinking she'd lost him, Macey couldn't let Flint go. She was hugging him close and he was doing the same to her. Even though they weren't talking, she felt like they were communicating in a deep, secret way. Their bond was getting even stronger.
Her sense of near loss almost overwhelmed her concerns for her other men. For now, those worries had to remain at the back of her mind or else she'd send herself mad.
At some point, the door opened and one of the kelpies popped his head in, mouthing whether they needed anything, but Flint shook his head and the kelpie left. Macey knew they'd have to go outside soon, talk to their allies, make plans, and eventually leave to attack the Mahoun, but for now, this was a short respite that she was going to take full advantage of.
"I'm glad you saved me," Flint whispered, his lips drawing shapes onto her cheek. "The afterlife would have been terribly boring without you."
Despite herself, she laughed. "You believe in an afterlife?"
"Of course I do. I've seen it."
She shifted away from him so she could see his face.
"You have?"
He nodded. "In my dreams. And before you say it was just a dream, Cam has seen the same thing. I think it's a wraith thing. Neither of us know any other wraiths, so maybe it isn't, but our theory is that we're somehow connected to the other spheres. That's why we can so easily travel the Staran. We're not bound to one world like other races are."
"You've never told me why it is that you don't know about your own people."
He shrugged, a trace of sadness in his eyes. "I don't remember my childhood. I have no idea who my parents are. Or if I even have any. It's the same for Cam. Both of us just have memories of the past, even one we can both pinpoint as our first, but we can't remember what happened before. How we grew up. Where we came from. Who our families are. All I know is that I'm a wraith, but most of the time, I have no idea what that entails."
"You've never talked about that," Macey said, surprised and a little shocked.
He chuckled darkly. "It's not something I like to linger on. I have Cam, Rónàn, and Jared, and you, but sometimes, I still feel lonely. Fuck, that sounds depressing." He chuckled again. "But anyway, yes, there's an afterlife, and it's not all that bad. Don't be scared of death. There's more to come once you step through the curtain."
