Page 28 of Within the Flames
How could she have been so careless?
"Macey, please stop?" Flint begged. "Don't do this to yourself."
"But I..."
"No, Macey. You didn't. You were just being tested. It was all part of it..."
"I..." She stopped speaking as soon as she'd started. She didn't actually know what she wanted to say. A part of her wanted to apologise to her friends, but another part didn't want to face what had happened yet.
"Amber is waiting outside, Macey. She's worried about you. Not scared of you. Not hating you. She loves you like a sister and is here for you."
"But not Izban?" Her voice cracked as she asked.
An uneasy look flitted across Flint's face. "No, not Izban. It'll take him a little while to come around I think."
Cold dread flowed through her. All she kept doing was pushing the Ice Warden away with threats. If she wasn't careful, he really would end up betraying them. She had no idea how it would come about, or how he'd be able to do that to Amber, but something deep in gut told her this was a turning point and she needed to be careful.
"I know you're scared, Macey. I know your guilt and your shame don't want you to face her, but maybe talking to Amber is the best thing you can do."
She nodded slowly. "Maybe."
"I'll send her in." He got to his feet and leaned in to kiss her on the forehead.
Macey closed her eyes, enjoying the comfort he conveyed in his kiss. She longed to grab his arm and demand he stay with her, but she knew that was her nerves talking and not any genuine sentiment.
"I won't be far, just outside the door," he assured her, as if knowing what she was thinking.
"Thank you," she said weakly.
"You're welcome." He let go of her and strode over to the door. He stepped outside and she heard the murmur of voices, no doubt him talking to Amber and persuading her it was safe for her to come in.
The red-head slipped through the door moments later, hurriedly making her way over to the chair next to the bed and dropping down into it.
"How are you feeling?" she asked, compassion filling every word.
"Fine," she lied.
Amber's face said it all. There was no fooling the beithir.
"What happened?"
Macey considered for a couple of moments, wondering what she could tell Amber and what she needed to leave out. Before she'd even finished considering it, everything came tumbling out. Everything from the lampads test and the journey to get there. Everything that had gone through Macey's head once she'd returned to Malan's house.
She couldn't stop the words, but she did watch Amber's face, trying to work out how the other woman was taking it. Particularly the parts which painted Amber herself in a bad light.
"I know you wouldn't..."
"It doesn't matter," Amber interrupted softly. "I understand. It wasn't about me, our friendship, or even how much you trust me. You were in a vulnerable position and they latched on to every doubt you've ever had. I don't think any of us would have reacted any differently in your position. And anyone who says they would is lying."
"You really think that?" Macey asked. She hoped the other woman was telling the truth, but dared not assume. She didn't want to lose her friend, but nor did she want people to lie to her through fear.
"Yes, I really think that. It's not your fault, Macey. You should ignore anyone who says it is."
The way she phrased that made one thing clear in Macey's mind. Izban blamed her. And it was going to take more than an apology to bring him around.
"What should I do about Izban?" Macey asked carefully. "I know he must feel left out sometimes, with you being my friend and the other men being my partners. I don't want him to be a seventh wheel on this cart we're steering into danger."
Amber sighed. "I don't think Iz has ever been particularly social. Don't take it personally. He's got the social skills of a caveman and the empathy of a troll. And yes, I love him nonetheless." She blushed. "He's good at other things." She winked at Macey and just like that, the tension in the room ebbed away.
