Page 16 of Alien Abduction for Beginners
"It can't be that difficult, right? She was aroused by some simple probing, so we'll just offer to probe her again and she'll be happy. If we do it often enough, she'll get used to our touch and she might be willing to fuck without probes involved."
Xil laughed. "I don't think you understood the concept of seduction. It's not all about sex."
"It isn't?"
"No. I read this one paper on human courtship and it mentioned giving her plants. Not sure why, maybe because females like to eat healthy stuff?"
"We don't have any plants," I pointed out. "The fabricator can make vegetables, but I doubt it can make anything that's still alive and growing."
"Then we'll have to buy her one at the next space station we stop at. We should watch the next lecture as soon as possible so we know how to proceed. So far, everything Professor Katila has taught us has been effective."
He was right. I'd been worried this course might be a waste of time, but it had turned out to be the best thing we could have done. Thanks to the IGU, we now had our own female on board.
Our comms beeped simultaneously. Havel was paging us. I opened the call and his hologram appeared above my wrist, grinning at us.
"She's fallen asleep. I'm monitoring her vitals and will be alerted as soon as she wakes up, so how about we use the time to listen to the next lecture?"
Xil and I exchanged a look and grinned.
"We were just talking about that," I replied. "Meet you on the bridge?"
I gave the broken engine part one last longing look, then adjusted my uniform and followed Xil to the other end of the ship. I was never going to get any work done with our female around. She was sleeping and still I wasn't able to fix what needed fixing. This was going to be harder than I'd anticipated.
Havel was already on the bridge and had opened the lecture on the main viewscreen. I took my seat, crossed my arms in front of my chest - I didn’t want to appear too eager - and waited for the Professor to speak.
"Hello, students. This lecture is split into two parts, depending on the purpose of your abduction. If you want your abductee for companionship and mating, continue watching. If you abducted her for other reasons like research or servitude, please skip to the second part now."
We waited in silence until she finally continued.
"This lecture may be called 'seduction for inexperienced males', but please be assured that this will be interesting for all genders and levels of experience. I like to say that learning is never over, no matter how good you think you are at a subject. I myself still like to expand my knowledge, even though I've conducted hundreds of successful abductions.
"Seduction isn't just about getting your abductee into your bed, nest, roost or whatever sleeping arrangement your species prefers. It's about forming a lasting bond that combines friendship with something deeper. Your end goal is to make your abductee love you with all her heart or hearts - or whatever anatomy her kind associate with love. You do not necessarily have to have the same feelings for your abductee, but it helps if you want to keep her as a long-term mate.
"Every species has different courtship rituals and it's your responsibility to research how your abductee likes to be wooed. You can combine that with the traditions of your own species, but make sure that at least half of your actions correspond to what your new female is used to. You don't want to confuse her unnecessarily.
"I know you will be eager to proceed as fast as possible, but be aware that seduction can take time. Start slowly, take note of how your female responds to your advances, then adjust your strategy accordingly. Give her your full attention. Make her feel adored and cherished. Protect her from all outside threats, even if you don't perceive them as important. Always remember that your abductee may never have left her planet before and everything is new and strange to her. A simple wormhole jump could traumatise her if you've not prepared her well.
"As your first assignment in this module, I'd like you to make a list of all the seduction strategies you've read about during the research phase. Then sort them by intensity. If you have the choice between giving her a sweet treat versus marking her with your saliva, choose the former to start with. If you find a strategy that works well for your abductee, repeat it again and again, even if it becomes boring to you. Your abductee will let you know when she's ready to proceed to the next step."
She smiled, her third eye glazed over as if she was reminiscing over a past abduction. I was impressed that she'd abducted hundreds of beings. I hadn't thought it possible for a Karangi, known for their benevolence and kindness, to do this kind of work professionally, but maybe Professor Katila was an exception to her species' customs.
"Before we end this lecture, please be reminded to submit your practical assignment reports as soon as possible. Seduction is not part of the abduction assignment so you don't need to wait to complete this module before submitting your reports. However, if your probing went exceptionally well, you may include a short summary of it in your assignment."
Havel grinned happily at that. I was sure he expected us to get bonus points for our successful probing.
Xil switched off the screen, also smiling. This crew had never been happier. Even my own lips curved into a smile. I wasn't used to that movement. I was known for being grumpy and I did my best to live up to that expectation.
"Havel, finish your report," Xil commanded. "I'll read over it when you're done, but I think you're best placed to write it. Definitely mention the probing and if our female agrees, include a quote from her. Maybe have her rate the probing on a scale from one to ten."
"I'll be disappointed if she says anything lower than nine," Havel muttered. "Although, I did forget the cameras so..."
"Matar and I will make a list of seduction strategies," the captain interrupted. "Hopefully, we'll be done with that before she wakes up so that we can get started right away. I want her to be ready for mating as soon as possible."
His eyes flicked down to his crotch and I couldn't help but follow his gaze. He was hard, just like me. Havel was already walking out of the room so I couldn't see if he had an erection too, but I wouldn't have been surprised if he had. This female was messing with our bodies already and she hadn't even touched us.
With a sigh, I created a piece of virtual paper and began jotting down what I'd read during the Learn phase of the 4 Ls. I felt Xil watching me, but I didn't pay him any attention. I was intent on doing well with this seduction thing and hopefully be the first our female decided to mate with.
Opening doors for her(note to self: programme doors not to open automatically)
