Page 2 of Alien Abduction for Beginners
A set of questions appeared on the screen, all of them ridiculous. I regretted signing up for this class even more now. Group work. I hated it. I'd never been much of a team player. The raisers in the hatchery had despaired over my desire to sit in a corner on my own, tinkering with some project I'd come across. I only worked with Matar and Havel because they were good friends and excellent at their jobs. Unless it came to abductions. That's where all three of us sucked. Hence this klatting course.
"Do we write down our answers?" Havel asked. "Do we need to submit them?"
"This project is not graded," the Professor's voice replied immediately. It had to be an automatic, recorded message. "But we would like you to send us your answers anyway. My assistants and I will be happy to help you and provide feedback."
Matar rolled his eyes. "Great. Yet more work. I've still got the booster engine to fix. Does this really take priority?"
"Do you want to get our reputation back or not?!" I snapped. "We need to abduct a female and quickly. If this is the only way to achieve that, so be it. The engine can wait until we're done with the first module."
I flicked open my wrist communicator and projected a large piece of virtual paper in front of me. Real paper was way too expensive to use for something like this. I synced it with the guys' comms so that whatever one of us wrote would appear on everyone's paper. It was a great way to avoid having to sit in a circle.
1) Why do you want to conduct an abduction?
"It's part of our culture," Matar said and his words appeared on the paper. "If we don't get this right, we'll be laughed at for the rest of our lives."
"Without respect, we won't get good tariffs on our products," Havel added. "And we need the money."
I sighed. "My father will never let me inherit his wealth unless I can prove to him that I'm not useless and an embarrassment to our species."
Havel snickered. "You don't have to rub it in, we know your family's loaded. Once he dies, you'll be able to buy an entire fleet of ships, not just this one."
As much as I hated my father, I didn't want him to die. I didn't respond to Havel's comment and took a look at the second question instead.
2) How do you imagine your perfect abduction target?
"Soft, beautiful, female, sexy, willing," Havel said with enthusiasm, the words blending into each other. "Fertile. And compatible with our physiology."
Matar laughed. "Don't worry, she doesn't need much to becompatiblewith your tiny cock."
Havel snarled, flashing his fangs. "If you don't watch your tongue, I'm going to make sure to add something poisonous to your next vaccination. How do boils around your balls sound?"
"Cut it, you two," I growled. "Of course we're going to take our target from a species that's similar to our own. We want a mate, not a servant, and certainly not a lab rat."
"And a breeder." Havel smiled. "Can you imagine, us becoming fathers?"
No, I couldn't. None of us was ready for that kind of responsibility. I was sure he knew that, but for now, I'd leave him to his fantasy.
"Clever, funny, courageous," I added to the list.
My friends rolled their eyes but I ignored them. It wasn't all about looks. Especially because I wasn't the most desirable Kardarian that had ever lived. Havel and Matar were lucky, their colouring was what Kardarian females wanted. Deep blues and greens, while I'd been born yellow, the colour of my disgraced great-grandfather. It had only added to the disappointment my father felt whenever he looked at me. I bet that he'd pushed me out of the family long ago if I hadn't been his only child. My mother and he had tried again and again, but I was the only result of their union. They despised me for it.
3) What will you do with your abductee? Will you keep them permanently?"
Yes, all three of us wrote as one. I smiled. We'd been unsuccessful so far, which meant that we'd never let our female go once we'd finally captured her. She was going to be ours for the rest of our lives.
"She'll be our mate," I said and the words appeared below the three Yeses. "Our companion. Our friend. And eventually, the mother to our offspring." I shot a look at Havel. "Mother sounds better than breeder."
He nodded. "Right. Unless she prefers to be called our breeder. Depending on her species, that may be the correct term."
I checked the screen and realised with relief that we'd answered the final question. I quickly compiled our replies and submitted them to Professor Katila. We'd have to wait for her to send us the next lecture, but the university had provided us with several textbooks on abductions. I forwarded them to the others. It was time to do some hardcore reading.
Matar
Istared at the galaxy map, my tail twitching with nervosity. I wrapped it around my leg to keep it out of the way. The other guys were used to it by now, rarely stepping on it, but I'd been self-conscious of it all my life.
Four planets were blinking fast, giving us our possible destinations. The Intergalactic University had sent us a database of abduction-ready planets this morning and now we were trying to find the perfect one.
"What's the green one?" I asked, pointing at the largest dot.
