Page 5 of Alien Abduction for Beginners
I blinked, tiredness making itself known. I still had to fix that booster engine. I sighed, but then remembered that the faster I fixed it, the quicker we'd get to our female and her voluptuous breasts. I grinned at the thought. Yes, I could get used to seeing a female like that every single day until the end of my life.
Havel
Earth looked rather pretty from space. Its atmosphere cloaked it in a blue sheen, a similar colour to the oceans below.We'd taken our position in orbit, ready to take the shuttle to the surface. The tractor beam wasn't strong enough to cover this distance, and besides, I always loved travelling on the shuttle. Steering it through space was exhilarating.
"What are you going to wear?" Matar asked, looking uncharacteristically insecure. He wouldn't usually care what other people thought of him, but he did seem to care about our female. To be fair, I felt the same. I wanted to impress her. Show off the muscles I'd worked so hard to achieve. I wasn't a warrior, not like Xil and Matar, but that didn't mean I didn't have abs to die for. That's what my ex had said, anyway, before complaining that she didn't find the rest of me to die for. I'd show our human that I was irresistible. She'd fall in love with me.
"We're going to have to use disguises," Xil interrupted before I could reply. "We don't know what humans' reactions to us will be. We don't want to stand out and attract unwarranted attention. Our abductee might flee if she sees how different we are from her."
I sighed. "I don't like those holosuits. They're itchy."
"You'll wear yours," the captain snapped. "And if you complain again, I'll make sure you look as ugly as the Black Oboto himself."
I flashed my fangs at him but didn't protest. He was right. The holosuits would make us appear human, letting us blend in.
"I'll download some templates," I sighed and opened the holosuit catalogue on my comm. They didn't have a lot of choice when it came to human costumes, but I quickly chose the three best looking ones. Mine was the one most similar to the sexy big-boobed female we'd seen on the photograph. Dark skin, long black hair that was braided in a strange but fascinating way, and an outfit that left little to the imagination. His dark green shirt was open, revealing his smooth chest. I ran my tongue along my fangs like I always did when I was confused. His skin was so...bare. No scales, no spots, not even tribal tattoos. How very boring.
My own torso was covered in dark spots that resembled the Earth leopard I'd read about during my research. It was a leftover from our evolution, a camouflage feature that wasn't of any use to me now. Still, I loved my spots. They were nice and smooth to touch, unlike Xil's scales. I hoped our female would like us despite all our differences.
"Before we get dressed, we need to decide on where to land," Xil said. "We've agreed on what kind of female we want to abduct, but someone like her could be anywhere on that planet. There are billions of humans crawling in their precious earth and we need to figure out how to findthe one."
"Maybe we should ask the Professor," I suggested. "She keeps saying that she wants us to get in touch if we have questions. It might make a good impression on her if we ask for advice."
"Or it might make us look like idiots," Matar muttered darkly. "I say we should simply choose a continent at random and let A'Ta's divine tail guide us."
I sighed. "You're the only one here who believes in A'Ta. I'd much prefer our research to guide us. Or our teacher."
"We shall call her," Xil said in his best captain's voice. He always sounded older when he did that. It was hard to resist a command given in that dominant tone and he took advantage of that whenever he needed to.
Before Matar could protest again, Xil had already opened a communication channel to the IGU. Their logo appeared on the screen, followed by a hairy furball with tentacles instead of arms. A dentril, a rare and exotic species. I'd never met one in person. It was said that their fur was poisonous to the touch and their cuteness a natural weapon.
"State your business," the dentril squeaked. I had to suppress a grin. It was adorable.
"We'd like to speak with Professor Katila. We're her students."
The creature's tiny orange eyes blinked a couple of times, as if it found that unlikely. He was right, the three of us looked more like space pirates than intellectuals.
"I shall connect you," it said after a while and the IGU logo appeared once again. One day I'd find out what animal they'd adopted as their mascot. There had to be a reason for it.
A tired-looking Professor Katila flashed into view. Her third eye was closed as if part of her was sleeping. Curious. I'd never had the chance to study Karangi physiology in detail, but I was sure it was fascinating.
"How can I help you?" she asked, clearly suppressing a yawn. None of us had checked what time it was on the IGU station, so we may well have woken her from her sleep. Not exactly the best way to make a good impression on the person who'd grade us at the end of our course.
"Professor, we're about to land on the planet we've chosen and we could do with some advice," Xil said politely.
"Which planet?"
"Peritus. Earth."
Her third eye flew open. "Earth. Now that's an unusual choice. May I ask why you decided on that planet?"
"Boobs," Matar whispered. I cringed, hoping the microphone hadn't picked up his comment. Our Professor was female and I didn't want to offend her. I'd always been ambitious and I wanted to do well in this assignment.
"The females there are compatible with our species and fulfilled all other criteria we'd come up with," Xil said smoothly. "Their lifespan is a little shorter but the advantages of a match with a human outweigh the differences."
Her third eye blinked while the others stayed open. "None of my students have attempted to abduct a human in a while. They're a strange kind. No physical defences to speak of, but their minds are sharp. They're willing to sacrifice a lot to get what they want.”
That matched our research. Humans were weak and yet not.
