Page 11 of Alien Abduction for Professionals
The Tarpartians didn't care.Luckily, they were slower than us. They were about our height but had a lot more bulk. And I wasn't talking about just muscles. Their body fat index had to be through the roof.
Just when we got close enough to launch our attack, they turned around as one, guns drawn, pointing right at us. Trish was slung over the shoulder of the tallest Tarpartian, struggling against his grip.
"Don't worry, Trish," I called out to her, and she lifted her head. Her hair was dishevelled and her eyes were rimmed with red, but otherwise, she seemed unharmed.
"Thank A'Ta," Matar exclaimed under his breath.
Even though I didn't believe in the deity, I felt the same relief. Now we just had to deal with the guns. We carried no weapons, so we had a problem. Not one I couldn't solve though. They were basic beta-laser-guns, the cheapest on the market. Perfect. Without taking my gaze off them, I typed into my communicator. I'd practised this so often I could do it in my sleep.
"Leave," the Tarpartian carrying Trish burped. Yes, he burped. It was how Tarpartian language sounded to anyone who wasn't a native speaker. Our translators turned it into actual words, but while the translation was delivered right into my brain, I could still hear their burping. It was disgusting. Probably one of the reasons why nobody wanted Tarpartians anywhere near them if they could help it. Unless of course you needed a scrupulous bodyguard. I assumed most people hiring them told them not to speak if it could be avoided.
"Return our human," Xil snarled. "She's ours."
"Not anymore," the grey alien burped. His mouth was so large that it created an echo chamber for the sound.
"What do you want with her?" I asked, playing for time. I still needed a moment to work on my communicator.
"None of your business," the Tarpartian on the right burped. "Now run off before we shoot you."
I pressed the final button and coughed, signalling Xil and Matar. The deed was done.
"Then shoot us," Xil grinned. "What are you waiting for?"
"No!" Trish shouted and struggled even harder. I hope she didn't hurt herself trying to get away from her captor. She had no chance of escaping his grip, as much as it pained me to admit that. Maybe we should teach her some self-defence skills. It wouldn't help her much when confronted with a burly Tarpartian, but it might aid her in less dangerous circumstances. You never knew what deranged aliens who might encounter in space.
The Tarpartians looked at each other.
"She told us not to harm them," the male carrying Trish muttered, barely loud enough for my translator to pick up his words.
"We should have taken stun guns," the one on the left whispered, and I realised it was a female. She looked exactly like the males, only her voice was slightly softer and her mouth smaller. Her burps were just as disgusting, though.
"I'm sure she won't mind if we kill them. She's only interested in the female," the Tarpartian who'd threatened us said.
"Come on, shoot us," I shouted. "Stop wasting our time!"
"What are you doing?" Trish screamed. "Are you insane?"
I wished I could have told her what was going on, but there was no way to safely do so. In fact, her panic helped us. The Tarpartians didn't suspect a thing.
"Fire on my command," the largest one burped.
I turned to Xil and Matar and gave them a wink, just in case. Everything was going to be fine.
"This is your last chance-"
"Just klatting do it," I interrupted him. "This is getting dull."
I forced myself to take on a relaxed, almost bored posture.
The Tarpartian snarled and pointed his gun right at me.
"I warned you..." he burped and fired.
Except that nothing actually happened. He stared at his gun and pressed the triggeronce more. Nothing.
Xil roared and launched himself at the closest Tarpartian. Matar and I followed suit, using their distraction to attack. Before he could react, I reached the one on the right and plunged my fangs into his fleshy neck. I didn't have any venom, not like other fanged species, but that didn't matter because I hit an artery and blood poured into my mouth. I pulled back and spat out the sour blood, before kneeing him in the groin. He went down, clutching his neck, looking at me in shock. I wasn't sure if this would be enough to make him bleed out - I'd never fought a Tarpartian before - but for now, he was down.
"Havel, take Trish!" Xil commanded, and I didn't hesitate.
