Page 22 of Alien Abduction for Professionals
"Do you like it here?" Matar asked me after a moment's silence.
"It's beautiful. Have you been here before?"
"Only me," Xil said. "With my father, when we still spoke to each other."
"He's loaded," Matar whispered. "One of the richest Kardarians out there."
"Doesn't matter," Xil said, steel in his voice. "Let's talk of better things. Like where we're going from here."
"Riva Four is beautiful at this time of year," Havel suggested. "The trees will be laden with fruit. As long as we don't expose ourselves to the locals, we could spend some time there. Our moon of honey."
It took me a moment to understand what he'd meant. "Honeymoon," I corrected him with a laugh."And you only do that after you're married."
"Do you want to be?" Xil asked seriously. "Married? I've read about it. I thought mating would be enough, but we can do a marriage, too, if you'd like. And then we can go on the moo- honeymoon."
I thought about that for a moment. Did I want to get married? No, not really. I knew without a doubt that I loved my guys and that they loved me. They'd built me a nest, for fuck's sake, no sane person would do that unless they loved their mate. And we'd done their strange kilt ceremony. I licked my bottom lip. Those had been hot. I'd have to tell them to wear kilts more often. Like, all the time. With nothing underneath, obviously. I could educate them about the advantages of going commando, maybe even some practical exercises... they'd forget about Professor Katila very fast.
"No, we don't need to get married," I told them. "But you're right, that doesn't mean that we can't go on a honeymoon. Or simply go on holiday, all of us together. Our relationship is new. There haven't been humans with Kardarians before. We can pick and choose whatever traditions we want. So I say we take all the good stuff and ignore the boring or tedious customs."
"Cheers to that," Havel exclaimed and raised his glass just like I'd done earlier. He was a quick learner.
A buzzing sound made me look up to four approaching drones. This time, we had one each hovering above our heads before they slowly descended, setting their loads on the table. I waited before they'd buzzed off before inspecting my food. Well, I couldn't actually see any food. I'd been given an ovoid looking like a tiny version of the shuttle we'd arrived in.
"What is that?" I asked, staring at the metal pod. "Don't they have plates here?"
I'd assumed a plate was a universal thing. The guys had them on the Jade. Not round, square, but still the same concept as on Earth: a portable and washable surface for your food.
Xillaughed. "This place is too expensive for plates. Lay your hand on it and see what happens."
Luckily, Matar and Havel seemed just as confused.
With a shrug, I placed my hand on the ovoid, and it dissolved at the touch. Yes, itdissolved, raining down in tiny flecks, landing on my food. The bottom half of the pod stayed solid, now acting as a sort of bowl.
"Seasoning," Xil said as if that was entirely normal. "If you want more, just use your communicator to alert the waiter."
Okay then...
"What if I didn't want any seasoning?"
Immediately, all three guys looked at me with concern.
"You don't?" Xil asked. "We can get you a new portion without any."
"We'll complain to the cook," Havel added.
"They should never have done that without asking," Matar growled.
I couldn't help but laugh. And here I'd thought the tribitt was cute. My mates were on an entirely different level.
"Guys, it's alright, it was just a hypothetical question. Do we get cutlery or do we eat with our hands?"
Instead of a response, Xil pressed both his hands on the table, palms down. A strange light pulsed from underneath, then the metal surface began to boil. I blinked, trying to understand what was going on. A second later, a perfectly formed set of utensils lay next to Xil's hands. Not quite a knife and fork like we would have used on Earth, but quite similar.
"They're custom created for each guest," he explained. "You can take yours home with you after as a souvenir. Look, it's even got the restaurant's logo embossed."
I copied him, and to my relief, the metal didn't actually boil. The temperature stayed the same and within an instant, I had a fork and spoon. No knife. Finally looking at my food, I understood that I wouldn't need one. It was a sort of stew with green and blue bits floating in a dark liquid. And it was smoking. Not steaming like any sizzling dish would, but smoking as if it had just been on fire. I sneezed.
"That would be the burnt yaki roots," Havel said, already digging into his own meal which was smoking in the same way. "They don't taste like much raw or even boiled, but if you burn them, they release their flavour. Only the best cooks know how to infuse a dish with yaki root smoke. I’ve only had it once or twice before."
