Page 26 of Alien Abduction for Professionals
Matar pulled her onto his lap. "Yes. It's perfect. You, us, the Jade. And your little tribitt."
Her pet was sleeping in a basket by her feet. While the animal loved cuddles while it was awake, it preferred to sleep without being touched. It had actually growled at me earlier when I'd got too close to the basket.He had slept through our launch from the space station. I was glad he hadn’t got scared, but we had yet to see how he would react when we encountered some space turbulence.
"That reminds me, he needs a name," Trish said. "And I don't want to decide that myself. I want it to be something meaningful for all of us."
"Is this what it's going to be like once we have offspring?" I asked with genuine curiosity.
"No offspring any time soon. But once we do get pregnant, then yes, I'd like us all to come up with names together."
"Weget pregnant?" Havel repeated. "I'm sorry to disappoint you, but Kardarian males don't have a uterus."
Trish laughed until tears appeared in her pretty eyes. "It's just an expression. I'm going to be the one carrying our baby, but it's something you will all be involved in."
"Of course. We'll watch over you every minute of the day," I told her. "We'll massage your feet, we'll cook your meals, we'll hold your boobs when they get too heavy."
Trish broke into laughter again. Her cheeks were bright red, and I was starting to get worried. "Uhm... no boob holding required. I've got a bra for that. Although... I won't say no to you doing that while we're in our nest."
"My hands are much warmer than your silly bras. I'm sure you'll change your mind once your breasts are full of milk for our hungry offspring. I remember my aunt sitting on my uncle's lap all day, him holding her breasts..."
I stopped because she was still laughing.
Havel looked at his communicator. "Careful, chicken, you're not getting enough oxygen."
That made her laugh even harder. Had we broken our human?
"What names were you thinking of?" I asked to distract her. I didn't want her to suffocate.
"Maybe something to do with his colour," she said, her voice now hoarse from all the laughing. "What's the Kardarian word for green?"
"Skweke," Havel replied.
"No, that's too hard to pronounce. We need something cuter. On Earth, we have a green plant that's considered lucky. Clover. Is there a translation for that?"
I shook my head. "Not that I know of. We don't have many green plants on Kardar."
She looked at me as if I was crazy. "Your plants aren't green? What about the grass?"
"Grass is a Peritus thing. Our planet's surface is covered in fur."
I didn't think her eyes could get any wider. "Fur? Like animal fur? You're kidding me, right?"
"No, not animal fur. Plant fur. It might be that your translator doesn't have an equivalent word for it. But anyway, we don't have that... clover."
The little tribitt raised his head as if he knew that we were talking about him. He squeaked, an adorable sound that immediately made me want to pick him up and cuddle him. I bet that was a trait designed by the pet breeders.
"So cute," Trish cooed. "How about squeak?"
"The translation for that would be boop," Matar said. "Not boob, like your beautiful boobs. Boop."
"Boop," our mate repeated as if tasting the word. "Boop. I like it. Boobieboop. Boopboop. Boooooooop."
"We've broken her," I whispered to the others. "Maybe it's an aftereffect of the poison?"
"Boop it is," Trish announced. "Lord Boop, since he's the first of all the pets we're going to have."
I exchanged a look with Havel and Matar. Giving her the tribitt had been a massive mistake.
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