Page 16 of Alien Abduction for Experts
"There was no lesson for Killing for Beginners," Havel quipped. "We may have messed it up."
I rolled my eyes. My mates were adorable in their belief in education. They'd be the ideal targets for scammers offering them a quick '100 Ways to Get Rich Fast' course, taught by a Nigerian prince. I had to make sure they didn't spend any more money on IGU courses. The abduction one had been simply ridiculous. Probing, nest building, going shopping... I doubted many true abductors actually did that. Not that I was complaining about the shopping trip. It had resulted in my little tribitt, Lord Boop, who was happily snoozing in his basket last time I checked. He slept a lot, but in the cutest way, with his tiny green front paws covering his face as if he wanted to shut out the world. I totally understood the feeling.
Finally, a notification sounded. A call from the IGU. Xil pushed the incoming transmission onto the main screen so we could all watch, but only he was being seen by the other side. He had his shoulders pushed back, his chin up, his brows furrowed. His shirt had a wide neckline, exposing his scales. He looked kind of scary, a predator waiting for his prey. Definitely like someone you'd want to listen to.
The being who appeared on the screen was nothing like I'd ever seen before. It reminded me of a giant shrimp, with bulbous white eyes on stalks, shimmering chitin plates covering its body and long pale-blue appendages that sprouted from where its cheeks would have been in a humanoid. It was strangely beautiful, in a creepy way. The background behind it was a simple white wall, so there was nothing to give away its size. It could have been a five-inch shrimp or a five-metre monster.
Only it's head and upper torso was visible, so whether it had multiple legs, a tail, or other shrimpish features was left to the imagination. Its eyes were fixed on Xil, but they seemed to be able to move independently from each other. The right eye stalk quivered every few seconds, but I had no idea what that could mean.
"Professor Z, thank you for contacting us," Xil said when the giant shrimp didn't take the first step.
Wait, this was Professor Z, the headmaster of the IGU? It had to be a joke. Right? I'd expected someone at least vaguely humanoid, wearing a robe like Professor Katila, sitting behind a desk, but instead we were faced with a crustacean.
This galaxy was strange as fuck.
"You have sent me some very disturbing information." The Professor's scratchy voice came through the speakers, but his mouth wasn't moving. Well, if I interpreted the location of his mouth correctly. Who knew, it may have been on a different part of his body. Nobody said the eyes had to be near the mouth, right?
"Are you sure of the validity of the accusation? Is the proof verifiable?"
Spoken like a true academic.
"Of course. We have credible witnesses, but we were also attacked ourselves. We have a video recording of Professor Katila admitting that she was the one ordering the unprovoked assault on our ship. It's in the files."
"Yes, yes, I've watched it. I also looked up your student records. You barely made it through the Alien Abduction for Beginners course. It could suggest that this is a simple revenge for your bad grades."
Xil huffed. "Trust me, we wouldn't travel all this way just because of some low marks. Besides, in my book, the abduction was a full success. Our abductee is still with us and has become our mate."
"Is that so..." Two hair-covered appendages appeared from the bottom of the screen and wiped across the Headmaster's eyes. I shuddered, a little creeped out. I really should get used to not everyone looking like my mates and I, but still... this was very different.
I stepped in front of Xil's chair to face Professor Z. "He speaks the truth. They abducted me, but they did an excellent job, which is why I stayed. Professor Katila graded them poorly on some aspects of the abduction, but that wasn't relevant to the overall success. They - we - didn't have any grudge with her until she had me kidnapped, attacked our ship, and forced us to abduct two of her former students."
I purposely didn't call Hix and Hex her lovers or mates. I wanted to highlight how she'd broken the rules by starting a relationship with them while she'd been their teacher.
"These are some graves accusations. I shall investigate them further. But first, you say she forced you to abduct two beings. Obviously, that is highly irregular. How did she force you? What were her threats?"
Xil gently wrapped his large hands around my waist and moved me to the left so that he could look straight at the Professor again.
"She made the demands while she was shooting at our ship. We didn't have a choice. Our vessel isn't made for battles and our shields were close to failing. If we'd not agreed, she would have killed us."
"Maybe she was bluffing?" the Headmaster questioned. "How do you know that she truly would have destroyed your ship and killed you?"
"I had no doubt about her sincerity. She seemed fanatic, crazed almost, and I swear she was about to kill us. Not just us, our mate, too. Please, watch the video again, you'll see the way she acted. Those weren't the actions of a sane person who can be reasoned with."
One of Z's eyes turned backwards, looking at something we couldn't see. I bet those rotatable eyes came in handy during lessons when a teacher had to prevent his students from cheating.
"I will take necessary steps," he announced after a moment. "My secretary will schedule a meeting with you for later today. Please don't be late."
With that, he disappeared. I chortled. Don't be late? There was no way we'd miss this for the world.
* * *
The IGU station'sspace port wasn't much different than that we'd arrived at on Kitt-Y-6. Sleek metal walls, a ceiling so high it was barely visible, hundreds of vessels in all shapes and sizes. The ship next to the Jade had an organic look, like jelly wrapped around a metal cocoon, that made me want to touch it to see if it would react. I knew better than that, though. Space was a dangerous place for those who liked to poke unknown objects.
A little green alien greeted us. She looked like I'd always imagined aliens. Bright green, two antennae on her head, otherwise fairly humanoid features. She looked almost too much like an extra in some sci-fi film.
"Welcome to the Intergalactic University," she said in a pleasant voice. "Professor Z has asked me to accompany you to his office."
"I'd hoped there would be guards," Hix muttered from behind me.
