Page 27 of Alien Abduction for Experts
"The IGU is setting up an outpost on Labeari," Havel explained. "They're going to offer courses for both the resort guests and staff. Some people like that Lurian triad next door have bought their own holiday lodges here and spend most of the year on Labeari. I assume they might get bored after a couple of months of having their brains fried by the sun and want an intellectual challenge."
The wheels in my head started spinning at breakneck speed. The guys had been given honorary degrees and asked to be guest lecturers in the future. Plus, Professor Z still kind of owed us for exposing Katila. This could be the opportunity we'd been looking for.
"Do you think they'll have an Alien Abduction department?" I asked, excitement bubbling up in me. "We could do mock assignments. I can be the helpless little human that they have to abduct. We-"
"No," Xil growled. "You're not getting abducted by anyone that isn't us."
"Then we can re-enact our own abduction. Show them how it's done. Come on, this might work." I jumped to my feet, bursting with energy. "Let's call Professor Z."
Havel chuckled. "Maybe put some clothes on first."
I looked down at my bare body, purple except for the blue, green and yellow mating marks that had stayed unaffected by the sea's pigments. "That's acceptable. Although maybe one of you should do the call. I didn't get an honorary degree."
It still annoyed me a little. I'd been the perfect abductee so I should get a certificate for that too, right? I didn't fight them nearly as much as I could have. I didn't take an escape pod like one of their previous abductees had. I'd even let them dress inlingerie,and I really should get a prize for enduring that whole nest building exercise. Yes, I deserved a degree for all that. And he hadn't taken our abduction of Hix and Hex into account at all.
I ran up a pink dune to our lodge and slipped into a simple blue dress that we'd bought at one of the many markets nearby. No need for panties since I was going to take off the dress as soon as I'd spoken to the IGU headmaster. After a quick do-my-nipples-show-check I asked the AI to call Hix and Hex. I didn't have the Professor's direct number and I doubted he would take my call without warning. He was a busy shrimp.
They answered almost immediately, dressed in an elegant suit with a tie each around their necks. As Alien Abduction teachers, they'd started the tradition of wearing a different planet's fashion each week, starting with Earth. They'd worn exactly the same thing yesterday. The sight of their feathery bodies stuffed into tight black suits made me laugh, but I tried to stay serious.
"To what do we owe the pleasure?" Hix asked with a wide smile. "I didn't think we'd hear from you again so quickly."
"I need to talk to Professor Z," I burst out. "Do you have his number, or can you transfer my call?"
They exchanged a look. "Is it urgent?"
"Very." For me, it was. Yes, it wasn't life threatening, but I really didn't want to leave this paradise.
"I've messaged him," Hex said. Ah, I forgot, they had communicator implants like Havel. "While we wait, what's this about?"
"Did you hear they're starting an IGU outpost on Labeari?"
Again, they looked at each other. "We did," Hix said with a wry smile. "Are you about to ruin our surprise?"
"Surprise?"
"If this is what I think it is, you won't need to talk to Professor Z. So, tell me, what do you want to see him about?"
"We want to stay here," I admitted. "And I thought, well, Havel thought that we could somehow work for the IGU. We're good at abductions, as you guys know by experience. And I guess I could teach about life on Earth, maybe English language lessons, and-"
Myla appeared in a separate window on the screen.
"We won't need to talk to the Headmaster after all," Hix said before she could even say hello. "Sorry about the interruption."
"But...wait, this is about what we discussed?"
It seemed everyone was in on this except for me and the guys.
"Yes," Hex confirmed. "No need to bother Z."
"Alright. Bye, sweeties!"
Her image disappeared and I stared at the Gemi'i. "Sweeties?!"
Hix's feathers fluffed up, but Hex stayed calm. "A new development. Now that we no longer have to fear that Katila could come after us, we can finally start our lives again. That includes dating." He grinned, clearly pleased with himself. "Isn't she lovely?"
"She is. Does she make cake for you?"
Hix's downs became even fluffier. Was that the Gemi'i equivalent of bluffing?
