Page 2 of Vikingr
Jörð was gone.
In time, I'd find out how. I'd discover who was responsible and get my revenge.
But now, all I could do was weep. For my family. For my friends. For our home.
1
Steff
The agency was busier than usual. Three women were waiting in the lobby to be added to our database. The latest advertising spot featuring two Albyans in their kilts - and no shirt, obviously - had gone down a treat. We almost had too many ladies on our roster now. The Albyans could barely keep up.
Pam, my boss and the owner of the Hot Tatties dating agency, couldn't have been happier. She'd hired two more assistants in the past few months, which meant our premises were getting too small. We were bursting at the seams in our Glasgow office, which was why Pam was now planning on opening offices in Edinburgh and Aberdeen as well. Eventually, I knew she wanted to expand to England, but the Albyans preferred Scottish women and they were our main source of guys. For some reason, we didn't get a lot of human men signing up. They seemed to be content with old-fashioned dating, while women were keen to find the perfect match, even if that meant looking further afield. Of course, we didn't tell them they'd be sent to a different planet until they were on the space shuttle.
So far, only a handful had opted to return to Earth. And one of them had come to me two weeks later, regretting her decision to leave Albya.
Albya, the planet of the alien highlanders. I'd only been there once, but it had been the most amazing experience of my life. Jenny, the first woman we'd matched to an alien, had shown me around and introduced me to her new home. She'd been so happy with her mate, her luxurious villa and her baby. It was crazy to think it had all started only three years ago. And it was even crazier that I communicated with aliens every day, while the rest of humanity still thought we were alone in the universe.
Yet there had been no alien for me. Two years ago, I'd secretly entered my details into our database, just in case there was a hot Albyan waiting for me. But I'd not got a match. By now, I was sure Pam knew, but she'd never mentioned it. And neither did I.
Technically, I was happy being single. I was free and could do what I wanted. Nobody left the toilet seat up. I could go out and find myself a date whenever I wanted, no commitments, no questions asked. I had needs, like any woman. But after discovering that there was such a thing as soulmates, I couldn't see myself falling for anyone who wasn't my one true mate. Twice, I'd got close enough to a guy who seemed to have potential. Twice, I'd made them take the test under shady pretences, only to be disappointed.
But my biological clock was ticking. I was turning thirty-three next month and if I wanted a family, I’d have to start soon, whether it was with an alien or a human.
My special phone rang, interrupting my thoughts. A jolt of excitement made me sit up straight. Even after three years, getting phone calls from outer space hadn't lost its novelty.
"Hot Tatties Dating Agency, Steff speaking, how can I help?"
A crackle was the only response. Not unusual. The Albyans had provided us with top-notch alien technology, but Earth tech frequently interfered with it. We'd realised we couldn't have a microwave within fifty feet of the special phones. And whenever a human-made satellite passed close to one of the secret alien satellites, there'd be unpredictable effects like the phone ringing even though nobody was calling us. I'd got used to all the strange quirks of working with aliens. It was all part of the job description.
"Hello, can you hear me?" I asked loudly, enunciating every syllable. The special phones had an integrated translation function, but it sometimes had troubles with my Glaswegian accent.
"Peritan dating?" a gravelly voice asked, sounding far away.
For some strange reason, Earth was known as Peritus and humans were Peritans. It had taken a while for me to get used to the lingo, but now I sometimes caught myself talking about Peritans with people who had no idea that aliens even existed.
"Yes, Peritan dating. How can I help?"
"Are we compatible?" I couldn't quite decide if the voice was male or female. Maybe it was neither. By now, I'd learned that some alien species had more genders than us, or even none at all.
"Ah, we get asked that all the time. To find out if your species is compatible with Peritans, we need a genetic sample. You can drop it off at the nearest IGU station. They do the analysis for us."
The caller hung up without another word. How rude. I hoped they turned out to be incompatible with humans. A little bit of politeness was universal, that was to say, intergalactic.
Let the Intergalactic University deal with them. They had an entire department dedicated to human studies, which still made me feel a little queasy. I didn't want to know through what methods they'd got all their data. Maybe alien abductions weren't just the stuff of fiction. We were told that Earth was under special protection now and the only aliens allowed to land were working for the IGU or clients of our dating agency. Knowing that made working for Hot Tatties even more exciting. We were a sort of gatekeeper, weeding out the weirdos from those aliens with a genuine interest in finding their mate.
A quick look at the huge clock above my desk told me that it was time for the next appointment. One of the three ladies waiting outside was about to become part of the Hot Tatties family.
* * *
I loved livingin a village outside of Glasgow, where Hot Tatties was based, but I didn't love the commute. By the time I stumbled out of the train, all I wanted was my sofa, a cup of tea and some mindless show on the telly. The platform was abandoned; I was the only passenger to get off here. My cottage lay another five minutes' walk down the road. One day, I'd get a bike to get home faster.
With a yawn, I started my walk home, cursing the council who still hadn't fixed some of the streetlamps. In the gaps between houses, it was so dark that I pulled out my phone to illuminate the pavement in front of me. Mrs Gregory had an incontinent dog and I didn't want to step in any of heraccidents. Mrs Gregory was as forgetful as she was lovely, and only ever cleaned up half her dog's business. I could have walked on the road, it wasn't as if there was any traffic, but every time I stepped off the pavement, I could hear my mother's chiding voice. She'd done a fantastic job at ingraining safe, boring behaviour into me. I rarely ever crossed a red traffic light, either, even if everyone around me did. My mum had died when I was only ten, so maybe that was why. Following her rules made me feel closer to her, even twenty years after her death.
I turned a corner and grimaced when I realised that the last surviving streetlamp on Laggard Road had turned dark. Just my luck. My phone only lit up a small patch of cobblestones before me, just about enough to avoid any dog poo. At least my village was as safe as they got. I'd never felt threatened walking home in the dark. Most of the people living here were pensioners, nosy as hell but kind at heart. They found it very amusing that I worked at a dating agency but remained single myself. Anna McGrath from two houses down the road had tried to interest me in her cousin's nephew - or had it been her nephew's cousin? - but I'd gratefully declined. Of course, I couldn't tell her that I was waiting for my soulmate and that I wasn't even sure if he'd be human.
Only two more minutes and I'd be home. I could almost smell the scent of my favourite green tea already.
Something crunched behind me. I whirled around, thought I could see someone in the darkness, a man, but then something sharp hit my neck. I reached for the spot where it hurt, but my arms turned to jelly, my legs buckled, and everything turned darker than the night.
