Page 49 of Coffee Shop Girl
My elation bottomed out like a quick discount on Rue La La.
“Oh. Right.”
I bobbled a bit on my heels as we headed toward his truck. He reached out to steady me, but I ignored the proffered hand. A ball had risen up in my throat, blocking my ability to thank him for the kind gesture. At that moment, the realization slammed into me: taking the girls meant giving up more of Dad. I wasn’t ready for this.
But I kind of had to be.
A somber feeling washed over us as we climbed into the truck. My life already felt out of my control. Now it was a runaway train on fire. Didn’t matter if I wanted to mourn Dad a bit longer. The girls needed me here and now.
Thankfully, the Frolicking Moose was just down the road. Technically, I could have walked, but I was already tired of wearing heels.
Could you force grief processing?
Did I have a for sale sign?
Why did Maverick smell so good?
Why were my thoughts all over the place?
“Penny for your thoughts,” Maverick said in a subdued tone as we sat in the truck, not going anywhere. Heat from the rising sun already made it too warm, but I welcomed the burn.
“I just ... Steven is right. Isn’t he? I do have to give up pieces of my dad.”
He nodded, seeming to process that. I set my hands in my lap with a sigh.
“I guess there isn’t much of a choice. I just ... I wish I didn’t have to. The bike is more than just a piece of my dad. It’s ...mything. The only way I have of really getting away from this stupid coffee shop. We bonded over motorcycles. I try to ride it every evening before I go to bed, just to ...feelsomething, you know?”
Maverick’s brow furrowed. “A little, yes.”
Sighing, I looked back outside. I should stop rambling. He was a business consultant, not a therapist, and he certainly hadn’t asked for this. Sometimes I wished I wasn’t quite so open about how I felt.
An open book, Bee,Dad always said.You always have been.
Blinking back a hot rush of tears, I swallowed the emotion and said, “Thanks for coming with me. It meant a lot to have you in there.”
He shrugged. “You carried that whole thing yourself.”
“It’s nice to have someone in the room for me, though.”
The admission came out quieter than I expected, and cost a little more courage than I thought it would. Loneliness had forced my hand in a lot of ways. Taught me to reach out to friends. Showed me the sheer power of a broken heart. Made me pick myself up by my bootstraps and try again the next day. Day after day after day. But it had never been a warm companion there just for me.
Having him at my side meant more than he’d ever know. Even if he would just leave in the end.
My heart ached again, and I longed to freshen my lipstick and cruise real estate listings for a few hours. There were several gorgeous homes I’d been salivating over, watching to see the market and their progress in it. So much to learn just by studying, really.
Instead, I’d go back and write more processes down. Figure out where things were broken and attempt to fix them. Allow Lizbeth to create an organizational structure for the storage room based off a Pinterest board she’d been showing me, and hope Ellie got rid of that ridiculous blanket.
Talk about the opposite of minimalism. For the first time since his unexpected arrival, I regretted sayingyesto Maverick. Because now I knew I’d have to say goodbye to him too. That stung a bit too much.
“Would you mind taking me back?” I asked.
He hesitated, mouth open as if he wanted to say something. Then he nodded. “Sure.”
The truck started with a roar, and we pulled away in silence.
* * *
Two days later,my heart threatened to give out.
