Page 12 of Wild Child
Yet again.
Less than two minutes later, a beater truck appeared from behind the shop. Without a glance my way, Ellie pulled onto Main Street and headed out. No doubt she was headed home. Or maybe to my parents’ house to saddle the horse and run to the mountains. That sounded more like her.
But how would I know anyway? Three years separated us. All I had now was supposition.
Now that she’d left, I could close my eyes and let out the longest exhale ever. Could calm the roiling panic, fear, and terror that had been wreaking havoc on my body for the last four days. All the questions I’d been secretly obsessing over had died away.What is she like now? Does she utterly hate me?
Is there any chance?
Harsh reception aside, her response had been better than I’d expected. My brow furrowed on the thought. WhathadI expected? I didn’t know, but cold indifference seemed most likely. Rage, perhaps. Ellie never made a scene, she just left. Disappeared. Like a cat, she had a way of slipping away to never be found again if she wanted. Kind of like now.
So, at least she’d spoken to me.
Maybe I’d expected silence, too, because that’s certainly what I’d experienced the last three years.
I tilted my head back to look at the clouds and let the quiet settle my thoughts. The worst of it was over. At least I’d broken the ice. Clapped my eyes on her after three years of dreaming what she’d look like. Her dark hair was still long, brushing past her shoulders. Her eyes like evergreens, skin tanned and rough, body slim. Her expression had matured. She’d lost the gentle roundness of youth but certainly hadn’t gained any laugh lines. She was stronger now, a wiriness built under the flannel shirt that hid a tank top. Glimpses of her shoulder had peeked out as she’d frantically scrubbed the tables to avoid me.
My left shoulder ached, so I reached over to rub it just as my phone chimed with a text message. I shook my head to pull myself back to the present. Texting took some getting used to after returning back to civilization, just like everything else. The chatter on the radio felt like too much noise. The people in the grocery store stood too close.
Pineville seemed surreal, with its calm temperatures and people walking everywhere without fear. While my world had constantly changed into new landscapes for the last three years, Pineville hadn’t changed much at all. Except for the new Frolicking Moose, everything else was just like home.
Whether that was comfort or frustration, I couldn’t tell.
Maverick:You survive?
Devin:Barely.
Maverick:How’d she take it?
Devin:As expected. Shock. A bit of rage. Then she ran.
Maverick:Did she say she’d give you a chance to explain?
My finger tapped against the back of my phone as I thought about the answer. She hadn’t said no. At least, not directly. Hadn’t outright refused me.Maybe some other timewas infinitely better thango to hell.
Or was it the same thing?
Devin:She said maybe later.
Maverick:That’s something.
Devin:Let’s hope. I have three weeks to clear this up with her before I have to head back.
Maverick:Have faith. Ellie needs you. She’s not the same girl. She’ll see it if you keep after it. I’ll enlist Lizbeth’s help tonight. She always talks sense into her.
Devin:Thanks, Mav.
Maverick:I’m here. Reintegration after a deployment like yours is scary as hell. Sometimes, it takes another soldier to understand. I’ve got you, brother.
I closed my phone. Didn’t want to think about that yet, or name it, but I silently appreciated it all the same. Being in love with my best friend, who effectively hated me now, was traumatic enough.
Almost losing the chance to tell her how I felt, however, was far more frightening. Being two shades away from death several times had a way of bringing clarity to the greatest darkness. I wouldn’t lose this chance again.
Before I returned back to North Carolina, Ellie would know that I loved her then and I love her now. Ellie was worth fighting for, even if she could be compared to the ice queen. She was worth doing now what I didn’t do then.
Even if she hated me.
The crack of a car door closing outside brought me out of my spiraling thoughts.Can’t control this,I thought as I loosened my tense fists.Can’t let this send me into another spiral. Everything is fine. I’m fine. I’m here. I’m not there.
